The message is spreading – pole dancing is fun, great for you and not just for strippers!  It’s becoming mainstream all over the country – and the world.

As many of you know, I teach pole dancing so I can understand the struggles of those who teach it as it’s so often misunderstood.  I still get some looks of shock and/or disapproval even though I’ve been doing it for 5 years.  Even though I don’t teach stripping and focus on the fun dance aspect of it, I still get calls to do exotic dance at stags or have people ask me if they have to take off their clothes in my parties or classes.  I’ve had friends not come to parties because they thought they were going to have to strip.  Even knowing what I’ve done for years, they still don’t quite get it.  A journalist who gave me a great write up recently used the headline: “Stripper Pole Home Party, Anyone?” Sigh.

I continue to tell people, “Pole dancing is like any other kind of dance except that your partner won’t drop you or step on your toes.”

So, imagine my delight when I saw a piece on pole dancing coming to China. In such a conservative culture, pole dancing is making a stand – or a spin.  And imagine my lack of surprise when I heard some of the naysayers giving their opinion on the activity.  As usual, those who make a stink about something probably don’t really understand it and are just having a knee jerk reaction from a lack of experience or information.

Ahh, well, we will continue to spread the word about the joys of pole dancing until we no longer have to apologize for a fun activity that makes us feel great!  If you haven’t joined the movement yet, come on along for the ride!  If you’re in the Edmonton area, join my class coming up in February.  Let’s play together!

Hugs, Christie

www.thebadkitty.com

I was at a bridal show recently.  While watching the children in the fashion show, I had a thought.  Are some of these kids shy or are they insecure about what they’re doing?

When I was growing up, I was considered shy.  So much so that I was able to hide in any crowd large or small.  When asked a question, I would give a short answer and my sister would elaborate.  I was often thought of as aloof or proud because I was standoffish.

At my core I am an introvert.  I like my own company.  I get drained when I’m around people for a long time and need to be alone to recharge.  That said, I also love being with people under certain circumstances.  I love being in front of a large group and with friends for a good chat.  I’m not a recluse by any stretch.

But are introverted, shy and insecure the same?  Not by a long shot.

Despite being an introvert, I can seem very extroverted in certain situations.  Most performers – actors, public speakers, etc – are introverts.  Get them off the stage and they can become quite uncomfortable.  I can talk like mad when I’m presenting, but put me in a room full of strangers at a party and I will feel quite uncomfortable – or insecure.  When I dance I get plenty of attention.  Unlike those who say “Dance like no one is watching”, I dance like everyone is watching as I get a kick out of any situation where I can “perform”.  But start talking to me off the dance floor and my shyness may start to come up.

So what’s my point?  Whether you are naturally introverted/shy or extroverted/outgoing in a situation means very little.  What counts is how secure you feel.  Extroverts can feel insecure and become shy, introverts can feel secure or confident in the same situation and appear outgoing.  You can also be an extrovert feeling insecure who still is outgoing and an introvert feeling secure and still appear shy.  We are very complex creatures!

At this bridal show, there was one girl who during the first show was walking with her shoulders up around her ears, her hands in front of her face.  She looked scared to death.  Many were whispering, “ahh, look she’s so shy.”  In the second show she was bouncing around, grinning from ear to ear, lifting her feet to show off her shoes.  She had developed confidence from round one and was raring to go for round two.  Is she naturally an introvert or an extrovert who was feeling shy?  Hard to know without talking to her.  Was she insecure early in the day?  Absolutely!  Was she feeling confident in the afternoon?  Clearly.

The only way to know the truth about someone is to actually talk to them and find out what drives them.  It’s easy to make assumptions which, unfortunately, are so often wrong!  If only all of those who thought I was aloof or proud would have actually talked to me when I was younger, they would have learned so much.  There are a number of us out there after all – about 25-35% by most estimates.

For more info on introversion, check out the official site.   There are some pretty cool tidbits including quotes.  The list of famous introverts might surprise you!

Now, whether you are an introvert or extrovert, feeling insecure is never fun.  The cool part is, it may eventually go away with experience.  The little girl in the fashion show is a perfect example.  So why not jump in when something makes you feel uncomfortable.  Just go for it and eventually you won’t even remember that insecure feeling – whether it makes you appear shy or not.

Extrovert or introvert, shy or outgoing, the key is, as always, Be Beautiful, Be YOU!!!!

Hugs, Christie

www.thebadkitty.com

We women have spent many years – even decades – bemoaning the fact that men rule the world and we’re the accessories.  This seems especially true in the entertainment industry.  Actresses, if they haven’t made it by 30, are basically screwed.  On air personalities, once they hit middle age are usually replaced or put on the back burner whereas men often work well into their senior years.  Oh, how unfair, we whine.

Well, my dears, the times they seem to be a-changing.  Mary Hart, at nearly 50, is still anchoring Entertainment Tonight.    Barbara Walters, Katie Couric and many others are still the face of journalism along with stalwarts like Tom Brokaw and Lloyd Robertson.

In the movie world, it’s been a great year for those who might have been considered washed up a decade ago.

Meryl Streep as Julia Child

At 60, Meryl Streep had a wonderful year with Julie and Julia and It’s Complicated.

In Julie and Julia she is engaging and funny as Julia Child.  From giving the uptight examiner at the Cordon Bleu School a raspberry to beautiful and sexy moments with her husband (the gloriously supportive and understated Stanley Tucci) she is by far the best part of the movie.  She shows older women in the light of someone who can pursue her dreams at any age,  is sexually active (even though Julia was a virgin until 40) and can have a blast doing all of it.  Meryl is by far the most interesting part of this movie.  Amy Adams as Julie Powell who created the Julie/Julia project that the movie is based on, is quite dull.  The contrast between the joy of age and truly knowing  yourself and whiney youth is stark.

It’s Complicated has Meryl playing a newly divorced woman having an affair with 2 men, including her ex husband.  What a joy to see a woman of age having a great time in the bedroom!  And being the object of desire.  Rock on, ladies, we are sexy at any age!

Helen Mirren, who I’ve mentioned here before, is 64.  This year she has a movie called The Last Station where she plays Leo Tolstoy’s wife,

Helen Mirren in The Last Station

secretary and muse Sofya.  At a time when many are seeking a pension, Helen has created another older woman who is strong, in love, wants sex, fights for her rights, works hard and is loyal to those she loves (Sofya wrote out War and Peace 6 times – by hand!).  From what I have seen in the trailer, she’s by far the most interesting part of the movie, even ecplipsing Christopher Plummer (whom I love) as T0lstoy.  In addition, Helen has 3 more movies coming out this year!  Women Rock!

Betty and Sandra in The Proposal

Another icon, Betty White – 87, mopped the floor with Sandra Bullock (who’s no spring chicken anymore, either and had a very good year as well with The Blind Side ) and Ryan Reynolds in The Proposal.  Her comic timing is impeccable and she has so much fun doing what she does.  She is a master and hasn’t lost one iota of her brilliance despite the fact that she’s at the age that many are sitting around bemoaning the life they wished they had or the past they wish they could have back.  Women are tough so never quit!

The success story of the year is Jane Lynch.  Turning 50 this year and having been a bit player in many movies,

Jane Lynch as Sue Sylvester

including Julie and Julia as Julia’s sister, Jane came into her own this year with the huge hit Glee.  Jane plays an hilariously nasty Cheerleading coach in this series about a high school glee club.  She is the villain and she obviously loves it!  One of the big costumes this year for halloween was a short blonde wig and a track suit with a holier than thou, uber bitch attitude as Sue Sylvester from Glee.  Jane shows it’s never too late to hit your stride.  Keep going, ladies, your dream may be just around the corner!

No matter what your age, ladies, you are amazing, beautiful, sexy and worthy.  Always remember that.  As you go into the new year, grab your life by the horns and go for your dreams.  No matter where you are on the age scale, you can learn, grow and LIVE LARGE!

Hugs and Happy New Year!

Be Beautiful, Be YOU!

www.thebadkitty.com

The most anticipated movie of the year came out last weekend.  My man and I went to see it in 3D – of course.  Much ado has been made about the stunning visuals of Avatar.  New technology which I don’t understand is being touted.  And, yes, the images are outstanding!  The trailers haven’t even begun to show the intricacies of the Pandoran world created by James Cameron and his team.  The way the hair falls.  The neon lit evenings.  The night sky and horizon unlike anything we’d see on earth.  It is breathtaking.  This Avatar trailer focuses more on the visuals than the others I’ve seen but still falls far short of what you will experience in the theatre.

Critics and film makers all agree that the spectacle of Avatar is unparalleled.

What sometimes gets lost when a movie is steeped in spectacle is the story.  How many action or effects laden movies have you seen that you can’t even remember anything about the characters or story?  All you can say is “wow, what a ride!”  In retrospect, though, it leaves you rather empty.

Avatar, thankfully, is not in that category.  Yes, the spectacle will make your mouth drop.  You may start to get a bit of a belly ache from all the eye candy.  In the end, movies are about telling a story and Avatar certainly rises to that expectation.  It is, in essence, a fable.   A cautionary tale about humanity and our tendency to take what we want rather than to understand those we are taking from.  It’s very much a modern, futuristic retelling of the destruction of the North American natives.

There are some goofy terms, as to be expected in a fable.  The magic ore the powers that be want from the planet Pandora is called “Unobtainium”.   (Groan)  The Navi of Pandora speak and gesture very much like Natives have been stereotypically portrayed in movies for decades.

The story is generally predictable.  Science and military clash.  The one sent to infiltrate falls in love with the people (think Dances with Wolves in space).  The underdog wins over the bad guy in spectacular fashion.  However, even a predictable story is all about the telling and Avatar tells it beautifully.

The movie took me back to last week’s blog about the power of love vs. the love of power.  Our marine hero Jake  played by Sam Worthington, when given the opportunity to actually live with the people he has come to manipulate realizes how beautiful they are.  He comes to respect their way of life and becomes one of them.  In the end, he helps them defeat the seemingly undefeatable – going against gun ships with bows and arrows.

I was once again reminded how impotent force is in the long run.  The bullies will inevitably make headway in the short run.  Love and understanding will win in the long run.  Of course in the movies the love and understanding fights fire with fire so there is an incredible confrontation at the climax of the movie.  In real life, it takes longer and is much less dramatic to overcome the big powerful machine.  And yet, it’s still worth it.

Whether with flying and crawling creatures and all the clans coming together for a big fight or people going out to give out free hugs, offering food to a homeless man or comforting a child who’s crying – the fight is worth fighting.  The fight for love and understanding must be fought.

Are you part of the love army?

Be Beautiful, Be YOU and spread your love to all in your own unique way.

Hugs and Happy Holidays,

Christie

www.thebadkitty.com

A few posts ago we discussed the movie The Cove about dolphin slaughter in Japan.

In that post I mentioned that the DVD was coming out in December.  It is available now so if you’re looking for a last minute gift for a socially conscious friend or family member or someone who loves a great adventure story, be sure to pick up The Cove!

Please remember to give to those less fortunate this holiday season.  There are many charities struggling to reach their goals.  Share your blessings with others.  Even when we feel squeezed, there is always someone who is worse off.

You are blessed!  Enjoy your holidays.

Love and warm cookie scented hugs to you all!

Christie

www.thebadkitty.com

This is a Snow Angel that my sweet man made in my front yard.  He loves snowboarding and we had talked about the fun things about winter.  I mentioned snowball fights, snow angels and tobaganning.

The next morning I woke to this.  Is that the sweetest thing or what!  I am so lucky.  I hope you all have something fun and wonderful happen to you this week – and everyday.  Sometimes you have to look a little harder than others, but the lovely things are everywhere!

My Sweetie's Angel

Enjoy the snow if you have it where you are.

Hugs, Christie

www.thebadkitty.com

Be Beautiful, Be YOU!

Love in the Summer, but what about the Winter?

Once again, Andrea Nemerson has written something that’s caught my attention.  She wrote about winter sex drive, and why some lack libido when the days shorten and get colder.  Her conclusion was that there is a neuropeptide amusingly called “kisspeptin” that regulates the release of libido enhancing hormones (in hamsters at least) which could be responsible for a lower libido in winter.

There may be something to that.  With the lack of sun and activity, our bodies slow down and go into a modified hibernation mode.  Many develop Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and need to take anti-depressants just to get through the winter season.  Others find their creativity and motivation levels decrease.  Still others actually LOVE this cold season and their activity levels, as well as their libido, go up.  There is an increase in children born in late summer/fall as a result of all those people coupling in the winter whether to keep warm, to stave off boredom or as a result of being ridiculously horny!

Whether your kisspeptins or other hormone levels are low in winter or not, there are plenty of ways to get out of the doldrums.

My Man in Marmot

My man is a great example.  He is one of the lovers of the winter season.  He’s a powder junkie.  He absolutely loves going down a mountain on his snowboard getting faceshots from the fresh pow.  I call myself a Powder Widow as he’s gone most weekends hitting the slopes hard.  The benefit is that he’s horny as hell when he gets back!  Being in the fresh air does incredible things for his libido.

Try these tips when you’re feeling low in the winter:

1. Get outside! The daylight hours may be short, but a walk, skate, ski, snowball fight, snow angel or even shovel in the crisp air will invigorate you.

2. Do infrared.  Infrared light is what makes things grow.  Spending time in an infrared sauna will help increase your energy levels as well as many other benefits that a tanning bed can’t give you – and without the cancer risk!  Plus, you get to be naked and sweat (I nap, too) for half an hour.  Nice!

3. Set goals for yourself.  Make long term and short term goals.  The short term will give you something to strive for daily.  The long term will give you something to look forward to.  Be sure to break the long term into smaller chunks.

4. Have sex! Even if you don’t really feel like it, you might be surprised what can “come up” if you do it anyway.  Make everything you do about foreplay. Conversation – look deep into each other’s eyes.  Touch – pat your partner’s butt when you pass them, hold hands, stroke the face, etc.  Smell – wear your best fragrance.  Visual – light candles, set a beautiful table.  Food – feed each other with sexy food like strawberries, oysters, pomegranate, anything with a yummy sauce.  There are so many ways to make the everyday into foreplay!

All of these will help you tap into your sensual side which will help you have more motivation, even if the sun goes down before dinner time.

Have a great winter – and have plenty of sex – you may as well make use of all the darkness!

Hugs, Christie

Be Beautiful, Be YOU

www.thebadkitty.com

Some things make me really sad.  One of those things is when people are short sighted, closed minded and cruel.  I have a friend that has been going through a great struggle due to such people.  I’d rather not go into detail to protect those involved.  Especially the child who is being pulled apart due to the greed and prejudice of adults.

Jimi Hendrix once said, “when the power of Love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace.”

As we come closer to the season of Peace and Goodwill to all men, it’s even sadder that over the centuries we are still so wrapped up in having to be right, in proving our point, in making others suffer so we can feel bigger that peace still seems so incredibly far off.

Wars among countries, within countries, within families and communities.  It makes my heart bleed.  Why, oh why can’t we just understand that at the very core we are all the same no matter our sex, religion, education, color, sexual orientation or anything else.

We all hurt.  We all struggle.  We all have moments of joy and sorrow.  We all want the best for our children.  We all want a good, happy life.

If we could only take the time to really listen, to really share, to be clear and honest in all things, imagine how differently – and truly – we would see each other.   What we would see is that those people we previously hated or thought were somehow less than us are actually just like us and that they are worthy of our love and understanding.

Make an effort to open your hearts in this season and all through the year and see what beauty surrounds you in the hearts of those you come into contact with.  Please, do it for the kids.  Let’s break this cycle of hate and discrimination and learn that we are all one big, disfunctional family that needs each other before it’s too late.

Be Beautiful, Be YOU- and let everyone else do the same.

Love, Christie

www.thebadkitty.com

Over the past month Andrea Nemerson, who writes a syndicated sex column, has been talking a lot about the terms women endure, rage at, hate and sometimes love and why.  These terms are Gold-digger, Cougar and MILF.

In case you’re unaware, Gold-digger refers to a younger woman who snags an older man (think Catherine Zeta Jones and Micheal Douglas).  Older women hate these “girls” because they are stealing the men in their age bracket which are rare enough to start with, thank you very much!  Or at least that’s what they say.

Cougar is the older woman who snags a younger man (think Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher). Younger women think that the “old bats” are stealing their eligible men.

A MILF is the acronym for Mother I’d Like to F*** (Angelina Jolie comes to mind).  Does this mean that becoming a mother makes you unattractive?  If by some miracle you’re still attractive after babies and spit up, you get this label.  No wonder it gets so many mommy backs up.In general, many people look at these terms as degrading and another sign of society trying to minimize the sexual power of women.

This may be true in some cases, and in others I think people are just too damn sensitive.  People like to generalize, to stereotype, to categorize.  It makes our lives easier in some ways.  If we can label something it makes it easier to deal with.  It happens to everyone.  Jock, Nerd, Emo, Goth, Geek, Silver Fox, Redneck, Squint, Geezer, Four Eyes, Hunk, Dumb Blonde, Toothpick, BBW and so, so, so many more!

We all do it, come on admit it.  We meet someone and automatically put them in a category.  Often we like to pretend that we’re more enlightened or above it, but truth is we are judgment machines!  It’s part of our nature.  We judge a room’s temperature.  We judge whether or not we like food that is given to us.  We judge whether or not a piece of clothing looks good on us.  We judge whether or not we want to hang out with someone or pursue a romatic relationship.

It isn’t right or wrong, it just is.  It’s part of our survival mechanism.  If we didn’t judge temperature we could freeze.  If we didn’t judge food we could eat something that was dangerous.  What’s unfortunate is what we then do with those judgements.  If we discrimiate or treat someone as less because of our impression of them, that is wrong.

I could be considered by many to be a Cougar.  I am dating a man 15 years younger than me.  Technically I’m not a Cougar as I didn’t seek him out or seduce him.  We met and we connected on several levels.  We got to know each other and we are very fond of each other as who we are without regards to age.  He’s more mature, accomplished and clear than most 40 year olds I’ve met.

Due to our age difference, many people in just looking at us will label me a Cougar.  Big deal.  I take it as a compliment that this young, mature, accomplished man finds me interesting, sexy and wants to spend time with me.  If I get derided with a sneer by some, they probably just wish they could find the same!

So, no matter what others label you, remember two things:

1. It’s more about them than it is about you.

2. Have a sense of humor about it, it’s only words.

Be Beautiful, Be YOU – no matter what others may call it.

Hugs!  Christie

www.thebadkitty.com