Archive for the ‘authenticity’ Category
Have you ever noticed that when you don’t deal with your emotions they come back to bite you in the ass? Have you noticed that when you get them out, they dissipate and change? Holding onto things – even if they seem to have gone away – leads to health problems, emotional issues and crazy reactions to the smallest thing out of nowhere. It can build up and become heavy, like a whole lot of baggage.
It may even cause you to consider “accidents” for the offending party. ”Oops, I “forgot” to do the laundry.” Oh, sorry, was I being passive aggressive?” ”Was that your foot?”
When I was married my ex and I made a deal. I would cook. He would do dishes. Seems pretty simple. It was, except for the fact that it didn’t happen. I kept my part of the bargain and yet nearly every day I had to wash the pots so I could make that day’s dinner. There would be days of dishes piled up then I would snap and either scream, give the silent treatment, go on strike or just give in and do it myself.
Now, I’m with a new partner and. although not nearly as bad, sometimes similar things happen. It brings up all the old emotions from that other relationship. My anger and resentment can become magnified because the original hurt and feelings of betrayal weren’t dealt with properly and fully.
What can I – and you – do to make sure each situation is dealt with cleanly and without baggage from past emotions?
Here are my tips for living baggage free:
- Know what you need and learn to ask for it cleanly and clearly. Often we think we’re being clear but the other person has no idea why you’re getting upset. When this happens, check in and keep working at it until the other person really gets what you’re saying. You may need to be creative about how you say it. Don’t keep saying the same thing the same way over and over – obviously it’s not working.
- Fully express whatever emotion you’re feeling. We’re told not to be angry. Yet sometimes we just feel angry. We don’t want to be needy. Yet sometimes we are in deep need. We don’t like feeling sad so we try to cover it up. We have all kinds of reasons to hold in our emotions. Can you feel that baggage getting heavier? There are many ways to get your emotions out. We’ll explore some of these later this month.
- Be present. In order to know what you need and to fully express your emotion, you need to know what you need and how you feel. Check in. Breath. Take a moment to really get clear. Only then can you communicate.
It may seem simple. If it was, we wouldn’t be carrying around baggage. It takes practice. It takes effort. It requires being vulnerable.
Do you want to keep having irrational reactions to situations and people?
Do you want to feel unhappy and unheard?
Do you want to keep looking for better relationships that seem to have the same problems as the last ones?
Do you want to keep holding onto past hurts, past indiscretions, past miscommunication?
Or would you rather:
Have strong relationships with clear boundaries and open communication?
Have an open heart that feels things fully and completely – happy and sad?
Live free of making the same mistakes over and over?
Feel heard, loved and appreciated for who you are?
It’s up to you now. Go forward as you choose. With heavy, and getting heavier, baggage or light as a feather. I know what my choice is!
Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty
Earlier this week we lost a beautiful Bad Kitty – Annette Funicello. Annette was 70 and died of complications of MS which she was diagnosed with in the 90′s. Annette had a long life in the spotlight. She was handpicked by Walt Disney himself to be one of the original Mouseketeers. She went on to be a star in the beach movie genre of the 60′s with the likes of Frankie Avalon. She left the limelight for some time to raise a large yet was never forgotten. She came back to public life after her MS diagnoses to be a spokesperson for the disease.
I am sharing about Annette today because of a quote of hers I read. ”When you are young and healthy, it never occurs to you that in a second your whole life could change.”
We hear it all the time – live life for today, carpe diem, and so on. But how often do we actually do it? We “know” that our life can end in a flash, we know that we could get a debilitating illness, we know that nothing is forever, yet we live contrary to this knowledge.
Not only that, we live by the plans, the expectations, the rules of others. To me, that’s the biggest tragedy of all.
I offer a simple, and yet terribly complex, challenge to you today – live YOUR life on YOUR terms NOW!
For some, you may not even know what that means. Take some time to:
- Delve into your past. When you were young, what were your daydreams? What did you want to do with your life?
- Sort the list. Which ones were influenced by others? Which were to make others happy? Which ones don’t carry any resonance or emotional weight anymore? Cross those off.
- Prioritize the rest of the list. If you could only do one thing, what would it be? Start there.
Once you have a better idea of what you want in your life, it’s time to make it happen. Your list could include a career, hobbies, day to day activities and so on. Whatever it
is, you CAN make it happen with a little determination and planning.
I’ll be making one of my most important personal desires happen in just 4 days – I’m going to Paris! YAY!!! I’ve been drawn to Paris for as long as I can remember. The desire has never left me. And finally, it’s happening!
You can make things happen too.
- Sort long term and short term desires. Is this something you can do tomorrow with minimum planning like going to a waterpark or is it something that will take some thought and time to execute like going to Paris?
- Make plans to do at least one short term desire every week. Can you imagine if you made something that juices you up happen every week how different your life would be?
- Break long term desires into action steps. Be sure to take consistent action and before you know it, you’ll be flying to Paris too!
The biggest thing to remember as you live YOUR life is to stay clear on what you want. It may take some determination, some pain. You may experience derision or misunderstanding from those closest to you. You will DEFINITELY have to get out of your comfort zone on a regular basis.
Keep this mantra in mind “how can I handle this situation in a way that causes me to be impressed with myself?” This reality check, this little self push will help keep you on track and keep you moving forward.
Live YOUR life NOW. No one else can do it for you.
Get out there and explore your life, kitty, this is no time for someone else to keep you safe inside. Take some risks and LIVE!!
Christie Mawer (The Bad Kitty)
Do you like to dance? Did you used to like to dance? Why don’t you dance? There are many reasons mostly stemming back to some sort of rejection or negative comment around our dancing. We dance from a very young age. Give a baby a beat, and they get moving. Give an adult a beat and many will look around to make sure they are alone before they start moving, if they move at all.
You’ve all heard “Dance Like Nobody’s Watching”. I like “Dance Like EVERYBODY’S Watching.” Of course I’m a bit of a spotlight hog so that works for me. Even if you’re not, think about it for a second – when you know someone you want to impress is watching, whether you’re dancing, working or even just walking across the room, you step it up a few notches, don’t you? So I’d like to propose another saying all together – “Dance No Matter Who is Watching!”
No matter what it is you’re doing, be brave, take a risk. The risk takers are the ones who have success, who inspire others, who have more fun.
In this video, Dancing Nana, this 80+ year old woman is dancing because she loves the song and she loves to dance. Doesn’t it make you smile and say “I wish I was like that”. Well, you can be, just dance no matter who is watching. Be sure to watch until the very end. It’s worth it.
For this man, he doesn’t care about his big tummy. He doesn’t care who’s watching (or filming). He just loves to dance and
he saw an opportunity to do so. I’d follow him over the fit class leader who looks like he’s not having any fun at all!
It’s time to get our groove back on, no matter what. It’s fun. It’s good for your heart. It keeps you young!
In order to help you get your groove on, join us next Saturday for a Dance Walk. Dance Walking is a way to get out with a group, dance while you walk and have a great time! We have done 2 dance walks in the city so far and have another one scheduled for Saturday April 6 at Southgate Mall in Edmonton. We will meet at the Crate and Barrel at 2:45 and start dancing our way through the mall at 3:00 for about half an hour. Bring your own music and headphones as we will dance to our own beat. We have such a good time and there is safety in numbers. Once you do a Dance Walk you will want to dance everywhere you walk!
Whether you dance with us, in the store when you hear a song you like, in a club or in your home, get your groove on. And if someone is watching, enjoy it and give them a good reason to watch!
Hugs, Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty
For the past several years I’ve been encouraging people to be “bad kitties” – meaning that, in a nutshell, cats are always authentic, they are always true to their natures no matter what “society” (we, their owners) try to get them to do. For a fuller, happier, more passionate life, we need to embrace the same philosophy.
The truth is, cats can be jerks. And so can we. The question is, will you let that stop you from being you and getting what you want? Doesn’t it seem like no matter what we do, someone will think we’re acting inappropriately, being mean, going against the grain, being selfish, not doing enough, being too big (or small), dreaming too much (or not enough or even wrong), too political, going overboard, not trying hard enough and so on? So if others are going to have an opinion no matter what you do, why not do what makes YOU happy?
Cats know what they want and how to get it. Take a look at this Cats Can Be Jerks video for a few laughs and to see what I mean, just in case you don’t spend a lot of time around cats.
As I watch the video, I notice some very human patterns along the road to getting what we want. Have you experienced any of these?
- MISCALCULATION: (the cat trying to jump out of the window and knocking down the picture) Sometimes when we want something, we make a mistake on the way. We miscalculate how long it will take, who/what might get in the way, even the best way to get there. Does that make what we want wrong? No, it just means we’re human and made an error (or even several) on the path.
- MISUNDERSTANDING: (the cat going after the toy and knocking over the baby) Have you ever done something and had others misunderstand what you were doing? You had good intentions, you thought you were doing something right but those around you berated it. Or you saw someone do something that you thought was stupid, reckless or misguided. In both cases, often it just takes a few questions to discover the person’s intentions to make things clear and forgiven.
- OVER REACTION: (cat swatting the baby) Have you ever been in a snarky mood? Have you ever had a particularly bad day that you couldn’t shake? Sometimes we just do things that are out of character that will make others upset. The important thing is to ask forgiveness, forgive yourself and move on. Don’t let the fear of an over reaction get in your way of continuing on your path.
- HONEST MISTAKE: (the cat who blames the wrong cat for swatting his tail) Come on, we all make them. Give yourself, and others, a break.
We know we’re going to make mistakes, that other won’t get it, that there may be hard times on the path. Are you determined to get something, do something, create something anyway? Then keep these things in mind:
- KNOW WHAT YOU WANT: (every cat in the video) The key is to be very clear. For the cats, whether it was some fresh air, to play a game or ride a turtle, the cats were single minded. Know what you want. What is the big picture? Do some visualization and dreaming. Now what are the steps to take along the way? Be very clear about every little step and you will be less likely to make mistakes and more likely to move forward.
- BE A PEST: (cat pounding on the door, cat playing with the door stopper) To get what you want, being a pest is often required. Think of it as persistence, as being unstoppable. However you label it, keep going. Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen had to approach scores of publishers before someone took on the now billion dollar “Chicken Soup for the Soul.” Every successful person has come to a point in their journey where they have to keep plugging, keep asking, keep pounding on the door until someone responded.
- BE DELIBERATE: (the last cat knocking the item off the dresser) I love the way this cat looks at the item, slowly knocks it over, looks up at the camera and yawns. He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew he was being watched. He knew he might get in trouble. He did it anyway. Are you ready to be that deliberate with what you want?
Hey Bad Kitty, cats can be jerks. Are you ready to own that part of yourself so you can get what you want? It’s all up to you!
Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty
Soon we will see the grass, followed by leaves on the trees and finally flowers. Soon there will be baby animals running all over the place. There will be insects coming from nowhere and warmth stimulating our skin. Spring is almost here!
Spring is a time of rebirth. Spring fever hits the animals – and many of us as well. We get motivated to make changes, freshen up, clean out and make a new start. As you make these plans, are you making sure to take care of the rebirth of YOU this spring.
Since spring is a time of rebirth, so let’s rebirth your treatment of you and awaken your sensuality this spring.
Here are five ways you can awaken your senses and, therefore, your sensuality and take care of yourself this spring.
- Celebrate your successes. It’s so easy to forget how far we’ve come and concentrate on what’s next. Take the time to pat yourself on the back with a treat or by writing in a journal to remind you of your progress. If we always concentrate on the next step, we feel like we haven’t come very far. When you climb a mountain, you take the time to look back and go “Wow!” Do the same with your life. For everything from the steps to create a big goal to the chores you’ve done in a day, they all deserve a look back and a “Wow!”
- Find ways to enjoy the new season. Take a walk and smell the newness and growth all around you. Notice how the color of spring leaves are so different from what they become in the summer. As you clean out your flower beds, enjoy the new buds coming up. Take a moment to notice the sun on your skin and drink in the Vitamin D you’ve been longing for over the bundled up months.
- Take up a new hobby. Is there something you’ve always wanted to try? Painting? Karate? Cross stitch? Running? Animal husbandry? Whatever it is you’ve been denying yourself because of all the excuses you’ve been making, take a leap and JUST DO IT!
- Learn to accept compliments graciously. Whether it’s for something you did or how you look, I’m sure you get compliments all the time. We’re taught to be “humble” so we tend to wave off compliments. A compliment is gift. When you say “oh this old thing” or “it was nothing” you’re taking that gift and slam-dunking it into the garbage. Instead say an honest “Thank you.” Then notice how often you get compliments. You probably didn’t even realize how much people appreciated you because you were busy being so “humble.”
- Buy something special for yourself. You may decide to clean out your closet as one of your springy clean ups so go buy a sexy new outfit – don’t forget the incredible shoes! You may not have shaved your legs most of the winter. Go to the spa and get a wax and, while you’re at it, a pedicure and why not a facial, too. Whatever it is that makes you feel good, stop denying yourself and give yourself a treat. You deserve it!
Spring is when the flowers and trees bust loose. How about you?
Hugs, Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty
Yesterday I was listening to a story of a women with Cerebral Palsy. CP effects your motor functions and communication. This woman speaks with a touch pad as she can only vocalize grunts and laughter and the only part of her body she has full control over is her index finger. The theme of the show (DNTO on CBC) was body image so the host, Sook-Yin, asked her what she sees when she looks in the mirror. Her answer, ”I’m f-ing hot.”
If someone asked you the same question, what would your answer be?
This woman obviously loves herself. She understands her extreme challenges and how others see her as stupid, asexual and weird yet she knows who she is and loves her intelligence, her creativity and, yes, her body.
With Valentine’s Day knocking on our doorstep, the idea of love is right in our face. The nature of this day is to look outside you for who you love – spouse, partner, friends, family. But what about loving youself? You may have heard this before and it bears repeating – no one can truly love you unless you love yourself.
The secret to a Happy Valentine’s Day – and a happy life – is simple, loving yourself. No matter what others may say or do; their misconceptions, rejection, thoughtless moments and so on, it’s important to count on one person to love you. You.
Start practicing these habits, and you will have a Happy Valentine’s Day every day.
- Tell yourself something positive EVERY time you look in the mirror.
- Celebrate your successes. No matter how small the step, acknowledge that you are making progress.
- Laugh. Laughter is good exercise, it’s good for the facial muscles and for your spirit. Learn to laugh at yourself especially. We all make mistakes, do things that are goofy or ill advised. Laugh and move on determined to be your best.
- Dress your best. No matter your body type, you can look amazing in your clothes. Get a good handle on what’s best for you in style and color and stick with it.
- Walk with confidence. It’s amazing how lifting your head, swinging your hips and putting your shoulders back brings up your feeling of worth and joy.
- Give yourself gifts. To celebrate your success, to acknowledge your amazing-ness, or just because, buy yourself flowers, a treat you usually deny yourself, something you’ve been putting off. Be as good to yourself as you want others to be.
- Challenge yourself. When you feel stuck, lost or bored, shake yourself up. Doing new things will build confidence and self love.
Live your life as if you are your lover, as if every day is February 14. Love yourself and others will follow. And when others disappoint, you always have you. Love, love, love baby!
Hugs, Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty
This past Monday was the third Monday of January, commonly referred to as Blue Monday. January is a tough month for many people. Holidays are over. The holiday bills are pouring in. The days are short and cold. Resolutions have already been broken. January actually has a higher suicide rate than Christmas for these reasons coupled with the fact that depressed people usually don’t take their lives at the depth of their depression, which the holidays can cause for various reasons, but a little while later when they are feeling a little better. This may seem odd but in the depths of depression, a person has no energy, not even enough to plan their demise.
Lovely way to start a post, is it not? As much as many of us would like to believe that we can be above the downs in our life, the truth is we all have them to different degrees. As “enlightened” beings we try to get past it, to pretend these times don’t happen or affect us. I hate to be the bearer of bad news. It needs to be said – if you ignore it, it will only get worse!
When you get the blues, no matter the time of year, there are some things to do to get past it.
- Identify that you’re feeling down. Acceptance is always the first step to recovery!
- Seek out the source of your feeling. What has changed? What isn’t going according to plan? What hurts or needs have you been holding onto and not expressing? Where are you stuck?
- Acknowledge the underlying reason for your blues and take clear action steps to get past it. Modify your plans or correct your course to get better results. Do something new. Say what you need to say.
Once you’ve taken these steps, there are some things you can do regularly to keep you feeling better.
- Even in darkest times, look for the good. It’s there if you are willing to find it.
- Keep active. Physical activity fights the blues and you will feel better in general.
- Ban the negative. When negative thoughts come into your head, get in the habit of saying “thank you for sharing, I’m up to something else.” Distance yourself from people who bring you down.
- Laugh. No matter how you’re feeling, finding a way to laugh will switch your mood automatically. You may have to put yourself into a situation to get you to the laughter place, and isn’t it worth it? Watch a funny movie or a comic, hang out with little children, call your hilarious friend.
- Pick up a copy of The Book of Awesome or go to author Neil Pasricha’s website to be reminded of all the “simple, brilliant things” that surround us.
- Celebrate. We all have goals. We all have things large and small we want to accomplish. Be sure to celebrate even the smallest steps toward your goals. It may be a long road so enjoy the journey.
- Remember, nothing is permanent. This too shall pass.
It’s time to banish Blue Monday, whether it happens in January or July on a Monday or a Saturday, find ways to keep your mood up and to acknowledge and move forward when you do feel less than your best.
Have a PURRfect day!
Hugs, Christie – The Bad Kitty
We all have one. A big dream. It could be about what we do – be a writer, a teacher, a nobel prize winning scientist. It could be where we live – in a rugged cabin in the woods, in the tropics, on the moon. It could be who we’re with – a romantic version of our perfect mate or family. It could be how we spend our time – at an easel painting, running 50 marathons in your 50th year, hanging anywhere with your BFF’s. The possibilities are endless.
The fact is, you, like me, probably have many big dreams.
Others seem like they may never happen. For me I’d love to perform at Carnegie Hall. I’ve never been to NYC and don’t do much performing anymore, so that looks less likely. Still, I keep it on my list as you never know what miracles the universe will bring about.
Others are so close you can almost taste them. I have one of those right now – going to Paris. Paris has been on my list as long as I can remember. I even have a theory that I might have led an earlier life in France as I often feel a measure of homesickness when I think about it. That dream will be coming true for me in only a few short months. Yesterday I booked the hotel and flights for my boyfriend and I to spend a week in April in the City of Lights.
There were many times that I’ve thought about going to Paris. Any time the subject of travel comes up. Whenever I see pictures of anything France related, see a movie or read a book that takes place there. When I eat French food or hear French being spoken. Even randomly at unexpected times. It’s always on my dream boards. It’s been on my mind a lot for a very long time.
And just as often, it has seemed like it may never happen. Things just never seemed to come together, mostly the money thing. It simply seemed out of my reach.
Some of the keys to getting this dream to finally come to fruition are:
- never letting it die and most importantly -
- taking steps to make it happen.
For years I’ve been talking about it. Dreaming about it. Hoping for it. Last fall I saw a groupon for a deal to Paris and Nice in February. I mentioned it to my boyfriend. He said there was no way he’d go to Europe in winter. I was disappointed and considered booking it on my own. I didn’t take action and the deal expired. Not long after that I saw another deal for Paris in March. This time I pushed a little harder. He agreed to go, especially knowing how important it was to me. Unfortunately, neither of us could pay for the trip as our credit cards were maxed. The next step was to get that taken care of. It took longer than I would have liked so the March deal also expired. With perseverance research and a little nagging, we finally booked our trip for April. We spent more than we would have if we’d booked one of the other deals and now we’re going at a nicer time of year and found a deal on an amazing historic hotel right near the Seine and all the major attractions.
What big dream are you going to make happen this year? As you consider your list, remember that you need to DO some things to make it happen.
- get it out of your head and on paper. Make a vision board, write out your intention – do something to make it more concrete.
- tell someone. Accountability makes us more likely to take action.
- make an action plan. Writing out the steps, however small, that need to be taken will help you be more focused and clear.
- stay positive. Even when things seem to conspire against you, realize that the universe may be testing your resolve in order to give you a big gift or that one scenario may have failed because an even more amazing one is just around the corner.
- celebrate. As you make progress, celebrate each little success. This will give you more energy to go onto the next step. Stay focused on the goal while acknowledging that you’ve come a long way, baby!
It’s time to follow your big dream. Here’s to a great year of dreams coming true for you!
Hugs, Christie – The Bad Kitty
There is a young third grader named Stella Ehrhart. For the last year she’s been doing something that may seem a little “weird” to some. She’s been dressing as a different historical character every day. She developed a love for history and decided to honor that interest in this unique way. Here she is on Ellen.
In the radio interview I heard, Mom was asked what was the hardest part of this behavior. Her response, “The worst thing is when Stella comes to me in a panic 10 minutes before school saying that she hasn’t decided who she’s going to be today. Sometimes I say, Why don’t you go as Stella today?”
A follow up question to Stella was is there anything wrong with being Stella? Her response, “No, there’s nothing wrong with being Stella. I just haven’t done anything big in the world. Yet.”
I love the yet!
- her commitment to doing something she loves despite any criticism or difficulties.
- the fact that she knows she’s going to make a difference.
This reminds me of the quote (and book) by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich “Well behaved women seldom make history.” At such a young age, Stella already has this figured out!
Stella is already a Bad Kitty! As the sign in the photo above states, it’s the things we may label as “bad” or “wrong” or “inappropriate” that make life interesting. Those are the things that make us a “Bad” Kitty.
Stretch your Bad Kitty muscles by:
- Seeing your imperfections as what makes you beautiful. When you look in the mirror, smile at the things that usually make you frown (or you ignore completely). Remember to accept compliments graciously – especially for the things you may not really like.
- Acknowledging your quirks as what makes you interesting. Everyone has something unique about their personality. Own yours rather than trying to hide it to be more “acceptable”.
- Being ridiculous.Do something silly and out of your comfort zone. Challenge yourself. Life doesn’t need to be the same old same old. Why be bored when you can have a great time?
There are many people like Stella out there to inspire us to be unique, to be real, to take risks. I’m sure you’ve watched your share of youtube videos or read stories about people who stepped outside the box and thought. “Oh, if only…..”
Now’s your chance to get out of the wishing and live your life! Those inspiring people only became inspiring by doing things that others thought were stupid or crazy.
A “Bad” Kitty knows that she is Beautiful, Authentic and Divine. When we truly recognize that about ourselves, we can be a Kompletely Individual Totally True YOU – yes, you are a Bad Kitty too!
Do you have children or are there children in your life? Do you want them to live a full and wonderful life? It’s up to you to be an inspiration. And you get to have way more fun!
What are you waiting for?
Those who knew me when I was younger, knew me as an emotion stuffer. As a child and young adult I didn’t want others to know how deeply I felt things. It seemed easier to hide it than to let it out. I would try to calmly leave the room if I felt tears coming while watching a movie/TV show or even commercial. I felt it was better to keep things in rather than deal with any reactions to my emotions. It was so bad that no matter what the strong emotion was – anger, fear, sadness, even joy, the only way I could express it was in writing.
Emotional stuffing for me led to unreasonable outbursts, even temper tantrums until I was 12. It led to me feeling misunderstood and unheard, which was my own fault for not being honest about how I was feeling. It can also lead to illness, separating ourselves from others and even feeling less feminine.
Huh? I’ve never heard of that last one, you may have responded. Yes, it’s true. In my emotionally stuffed state, I remember feeling like I had to be in control, strong, more “male”.
On Saturday I co-presented a class with Sheri ‘Reilly. Part of Sheri’s portion of the day was about a process called Noble Healing which is a simple process to heal the “holes” in our lives created by betrayals, disrespect and hurts in general. If these things have been stuffed and not dealt with they effect us in unexpected ways.
One thing Sheri said to introduce the process was that “feelings are an ‘extra body organ’ for women. It is the source of feminine energy, power and life.”
We women feel deeply, whether we care to admit it or not. When we cut off that piece of ourselves, we cut off our power! This is also what sensuality is all about. We can’t be sensual without being in touch with our feelings. Sensual is about the senses, so if we cut off our feelings, we ignore the messages coming in from our senses. No wonder so many of us feel disconnected from our environment, from other people, from our dreams. It all comes back to our feelings.
If we get used to stuffing or ignoring our feelings, we get toxic in our body and mind. It’s time to let them out and stop being a turkey about it!
Allow your emotions to be what they are. If you feel yourself tearing up, allow yourself to cry. If you feel fear, acknowledge it for what it is. If you get angry, let it out. If you feel joy, do a little dance!
- If you are feeling something but aren’t sure what it is, take a moment to figure it out. Sometimes emotions blind side us. Take a moment to go, oh, ya, I’m actually angry/anxious/sad/shame/amused/envious/hopeful and so on.
- Know that emotions are simple. We often try to explain our emotion rather than labeling it. It seems safer. If you find yourself saying “I feel THAT…..” followed by a story, you aren’t in touch with your emotion. An emotion is a single word such as joy, pride, love, etc.
- Accept that whatever you’re feeling is acceptable. There is no use judging or trying to “fix” your emotions. They simply are what they are.
- Accept your emotions as your own. No one “made” you feel this way. It’s not “you made me angry”, it’s “I’m angry.”
Once we recognize and own our emotions, then we can do the work of healing if need be. Often we stuff the negative ones, trying to “protect” others. We all have a desire to be seen, accepted, understood. Others can’t give you that gift unless you show who you are. A big part of showing who you are is being honest about your emotions. Your honesty will also encourage others to do the same, bringing everyone closer.
Let us experience emotions with you. We can handle it. Really. Let us prove it to you.