Archive for the ‘sensuality’ Category
Have you ever noticed that when you don’t deal with your emotions they come back to bite you in the ass? Have you noticed that when you get them out, they dissipate and change? Holding onto things – even if they seem to have gone away – leads to health problems, emotional issues and crazy reactions to the smallest thing out of nowhere. It can build up and become heavy, like a whole lot of baggage.
It may even cause you to consider “accidents” for the offending party. ”Oops, I “forgot” to do the laundry.” Oh, sorry, was I being passive aggressive?” ”Was that your foot?”
When I was married my ex and I made a deal. I would cook. He would do dishes. Seems pretty simple. It was, except for the fact that it didn’t happen. I kept my part of the bargain and yet nearly every day I had to wash the pots so I could make that day’s dinner. There would be days of dishes piled up then I would snap and either scream, give the silent treatment, go on strike or just give in and do it myself.
Now, I’m with a new partner and. although not nearly as bad, sometimes similar things happen. It brings up all the old emotions from that other relationship. My anger and resentment can become magnified because the original hurt and feelings of betrayal weren’t dealt with properly and fully.
What can I – and you – do to make sure each situation is dealt with cleanly and without baggage from past emotions?
Here are my tips for living baggage free:
- Know what you need and learn to ask for it cleanly and clearly. Often we think we’re being clear but the other person has no idea why you’re getting upset. When this happens, check in and keep working at it until the other person really gets what you’re saying. You may need to be creative about how you say it. Don’t keep saying the same thing the same way over and over – obviously it’s not working.
- Fully express whatever emotion you’re feeling. We’re told not to be angry. Yet sometimes we just feel angry. We don’t want to be needy. Yet sometimes we are in deep need. We don’t like feeling sad so we try to cover it up. We have all kinds of reasons to hold in our emotions. Can you feel that baggage getting heavier? There are many ways to get your emotions out. We’ll explore some of these later this month.
- Be present. In order to know what you need and to fully express your emotion, you need to know what you need and how you feel. Check in. Breath. Take a moment to really get clear. Only then can you communicate.
It may seem simple. If it was, we wouldn’t be carrying around baggage. It takes practice. It takes effort. It requires being vulnerable.
Do you want to keep having irrational reactions to situations and people?
Do you want to feel unhappy and unheard?
Do you want to keep looking for better relationships that seem to have the same problems as the last ones?
Do you want to keep holding onto past hurts, past indiscretions, past miscommunication?
Or would you rather:
Have strong relationships with clear boundaries and open communication?
Have an open heart that feels things fully and completely – happy and sad?
Live free of making the same mistakes over and over?
Feel heard, loved and appreciated for who you are?
It’s up to you now. Go forward as you choose. With heavy, and getting heavier, baggage or light as a feather. I know what my choice is!
Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty
Earlier this week we lost a beautiful Bad Kitty – Annette Funicello. Annette was 70 and died of complications of MS which she was diagnosed with in the 90′s. Annette had a long life in the spotlight. She was handpicked by Walt Disney himself to be one of the original Mouseketeers. She went on to be a star in the beach movie genre of the 60′s with the likes of Frankie Avalon. She left the limelight for some time to raise a large yet was never forgotten. She came back to public life after her MS diagnoses to be a spokesperson for the disease.
I am sharing about Annette today because of a quote of hers I read. ”When you are young and healthy, it never occurs to you that in a second your whole life could change.”
We hear it all the time – live life for today, carpe diem, and so on. But how often do we actually do it? We “know” that our life can end in a flash, we know that we could get a debilitating illness, we know that nothing is forever, yet we live contrary to this knowledge.
Not only that, we live by the plans, the expectations, the rules of others. To me, that’s the biggest tragedy of all.
I offer a simple, and yet terribly complex, challenge to you today – live YOUR life on YOUR terms NOW!
For some, you may not even know what that means. Take some time to:
- Delve into your past. When you were young, what were your daydreams? What did you want to do with your life?
- Sort the list. Which ones were influenced by others? Which were to make others happy? Which ones don’t carry any resonance or emotional weight anymore? Cross those off.
- Prioritize the rest of the list. If you could only do one thing, what would it be? Start there.
Once you have a better idea of what you want in your life, it’s time to make it happen. Your list could include a career, hobbies, day to day activities and so on. Whatever it
is, you CAN make it happen with a little determination and planning.
I’ll be making one of my most important personal desires happen in just 4 days – I’m going to Paris! YAY!!! I’ve been drawn to Paris for as long as I can remember. The desire has never left me. And finally, it’s happening!
You can make things happen too.
- Sort long term and short term desires. Is this something you can do tomorrow with minimum planning like going to a waterpark or is it something that will take some thought and time to execute like going to Paris?
- Make plans to do at least one short term desire every week. Can you imagine if you made something that juices you up happen every week how different your life would be?
- Break long term desires into action steps. Be sure to take consistent action and before you know it, you’ll be flying to Paris too!
The biggest thing to remember as you live YOUR life is to stay clear on what you want. It may take some determination, some pain. You may experience derision or misunderstanding from those closest to you. You will DEFINITELY have to get out of your comfort zone on a regular basis.
Keep this mantra in mind “how can I handle this situation in a way that causes me to be impressed with myself?” This reality check, this little self push will help keep you on track and keep you moving forward.
Live YOUR life NOW. No one else can do it for you.
Get out there and explore your life, kitty, this is no time for someone else to keep you safe inside. Take some risks and LIVE!!
Christie Mawer (The Bad Kitty)
Do you like to dance? Did you used to like to dance? Why don’t you dance? There are many reasons mostly stemming back to some sort of rejection or negative comment around our dancing. We dance from a very young age. Give a baby a beat, and they get moving. Give an adult a beat and many will look around to make sure they are alone before they start moving, if they move at all.
You’ve all heard “Dance Like Nobody’s Watching”. I like “Dance Like EVERYBODY’S Watching.” Of course I’m a bit of a spotlight hog so that works for me. Even if you’re not, think about it for a second – when you know someone you want to impress is watching, whether you’re dancing, working or even just walking across the room, you step it up a few notches, don’t you? So I’d like to propose another saying all together – “Dance No Matter Who is Watching!”
No matter what it is you’re doing, be brave, take a risk. The risk takers are the ones who have success, who inspire others, who have more fun.
In this video, Dancing Nana, this 80+ year old woman is dancing because she loves the song and she loves to dance. Doesn’t it make you smile and say “I wish I was like that”. Well, you can be, just dance no matter who is watching. Be sure to watch until the very end. It’s worth it.
For this man, he doesn’t care about his big tummy. He doesn’t care who’s watching (or filming). He just loves to dance and
he saw an opportunity to do so. I’d follow him over the fit class leader who looks like he’s not having any fun at all!
It’s time to get our groove back on, no matter what. It’s fun. It’s good for your heart. It keeps you young!
In order to help you get your groove on, join us next Saturday for a Dance Walk. Dance Walking is a way to get out with a group, dance while you walk and have a great time! We have done 2 dance walks in the city so far and have another one scheduled for Saturday April 6 at Southgate Mall in Edmonton. We will meet at the Crate and Barrel at 2:45 and start dancing our way through the mall at 3:00 for about half an hour. Bring your own music and headphones as we will dance to our own beat. We have such a good time and there is safety in numbers. Once you do a Dance Walk you will want to dance everywhere you walk!
Whether you dance with us, in the store when you hear a song you like, in a club or in your home, get your groove on. And if someone is watching, enjoy it and give them a good reason to watch!
Hugs, Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty
For the past several years I’ve been encouraging people to be “bad kitties” – meaning that, in a nutshell, cats are always authentic, they are always true to their natures no matter what “society” (we, their owners) try to get them to do. For a fuller, happier, more passionate life, we need to embrace the same philosophy.
The truth is, cats can be jerks. And so can we. The question is, will you let that stop you from being you and getting what you want? Doesn’t it seem like no matter what we do, someone will think we’re acting inappropriately, being mean, going against the grain, being selfish, not doing enough, being too big (or small), dreaming too much (or not enough or even wrong), too political, going overboard, not trying hard enough and so on? So if others are going to have an opinion no matter what you do, why not do what makes YOU happy?
Cats know what they want and how to get it. Take a look at this Cats Can Be Jerks video for a few laughs and to see what I mean, just in case you don’t spend a lot of time around cats.
As I watch the video, I notice some very human patterns along the road to getting what we want. Have you experienced any of these?
- MISCALCULATION: (the cat trying to jump out of the window and knocking down the picture) Sometimes when we want something, we make a mistake on the way. We miscalculate how long it will take, who/what might get in the way, even the best way to get there. Does that make what we want wrong? No, it just means we’re human and made an error (or even several) on the path.
- MISUNDERSTANDING: (the cat going after the toy and knocking over the baby) Have you ever done something and had others misunderstand what you were doing? You had good intentions, you thought you were doing something right but those around you berated it. Or you saw someone do something that you thought was stupid, reckless or misguided. In both cases, often it just takes a few questions to discover the person’s intentions to make things clear and forgiven.
- OVER REACTION: (cat swatting the baby) Have you ever been in a snarky mood? Have you ever had a particularly bad day that you couldn’t shake? Sometimes we just do things that are out of character that will make others upset. The important thing is to ask forgiveness, forgive yourself and move on. Don’t let the fear of an over reaction get in your way of continuing on your path.
- HONEST MISTAKE: (the cat who blames the wrong cat for swatting his tail) Come on, we all make them. Give yourself, and others, a break.
We know we’re going to make mistakes, that other won’t get it, that there may be hard times on the path. Are you determined to get something, do something, create something anyway? Then keep these things in mind:
- KNOW WHAT YOU WANT: (every cat in the video) The key is to be very clear. For the cats, whether it was some fresh air, to play a game or ride a turtle, the cats were single minded. Know what you want. What is the big picture? Do some visualization and dreaming. Now what are the steps to take along the way? Be very clear about every little step and you will be less likely to make mistakes and more likely to move forward.
- BE A PEST: (cat pounding on the door, cat playing with the door stopper) To get what you want, being a pest is often required. Think of it as persistence, as being unstoppable. However you label it, keep going. Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen had to approach scores of publishers before someone took on the now billion dollar “Chicken Soup for the Soul.” Every successful person has come to a point in their journey where they have to keep plugging, keep asking, keep pounding on the door until someone responded.
- BE DELIBERATE: (the last cat knocking the item off the dresser) I love the way this cat looks at the item, slowly knocks it over, looks up at the camera and yawns. He knew exactly what he was doing. He knew he was being watched. He knew he might get in trouble. He did it anyway. Are you ready to be that deliberate with what you want?
Hey Bad Kitty, cats can be jerks. Are you ready to own that part of yourself so you can get what you want? It’s all up to you!
Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty
Soon we will see the grass, followed by leaves on the trees and finally flowers. Soon there will be baby animals running all over the place. There will be insects coming from nowhere and warmth stimulating our skin. Spring is almost here!
Spring is a time of rebirth. Spring fever hits the animals – and many of us as well. We get motivated to make changes, freshen up, clean out and make a new start. As you make these plans, are you making sure to take care of the rebirth of YOU this spring.
Since spring is a time of rebirth, so let’s rebirth your treatment of you and awaken your sensuality this spring.
Here are five ways you can awaken your senses and, therefore, your sensuality and take care of yourself this spring.
- Celebrate your successes. It’s so easy to forget how far we’ve come and concentrate on what’s next. Take the time to pat yourself on the back with a treat or by writing in a journal to remind you of your progress. If we always concentrate on the next step, we feel like we haven’t come very far. When you climb a mountain, you take the time to look back and go “Wow!” Do the same with your life. For everything from the steps to create a big goal to the chores you’ve done in a day, they all deserve a look back and a “Wow!”
- Find ways to enjoy the new season. Take a walk and smell the newness and growth all around you. Notice how the color of spring leaves are so different from what they become in the summer. As you clean out your flower beds, enjoy the new buds coming up. Take a moment to notice the sun on your skin and drink in the Vitamin D you’ve been longing for over the bundled up months.
- Take up a new hobby. Is there something you’ve always wanted to try? Painting? Karate? Cross stitch? Running? Animal husbandry? Whatever it is you’ve been denying yourself because of all the excuses you’ve been making, take a leap and JUST DO IT!
- Learn to accept compliments graciously. Whether it’s for something you did or how you look, I’m sure you get compliments all the time. We’re taught to be “humble” so we tend to wave off compliments. A compliment is gift. When you say “oh this old thing” or “it was nothing” you’re taking that gift and slam-dunking it into the garbage. Instead say an honest “Thank you.” Then notice how often you get compliments. You probably didn’t even realize how much people appreciated you because you were busy being so “humble.”
- Buy something special for yourself. You may decide to clean out your closet as one of your springy clean ups so go buy a sexy new outfit – don’t forget the incredible shoes! You may not have shaved your legs most of the winter. Go to the spa and get a wax and, while you’re at it, a pedicure and why not a facial, too. Whatever it is that makes you feel good, stop denying yourself and give yourself a treat. You deserve it!
Spring is when the flowers and trees bust loose. How about you?
Hugs, Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty
I don’t have to tell you how busy this time of year gets. Christmas can drive you mad. The usual causes are taking on too much. We women can tend toward this at any time of year, but this time ramps it up to a whole new level!
How many of these things are you taking on yourself?
- decorating the house
- making the Christmas gift list
- buying ALL the gifts for family and friends (and maybe even your own gift from your spouse)
- wrapping all the gifts
- shopping for the meal
- cooking the meal
- writing cards
- sending cards
- making planning calls for parties and get togethers
- making sure everyone is happy on the big day
- and I’m sure I’m forgetting a thing or two!
We’ve spoken here in The Bad Kitty Blog in the past about the importance of delegation, the Christmas martyr syndrome and letting things go. In addition, it’s important to give Christmas gifts to yourself.
Here are some suggestion for you:
- The gift of relaxation: Even if it’s only a few minutes a day, you need it! A beautiful smell is a great way to help you relax. These Earthy Body candles not only smell great, they are also great for your skin (they are soy candles so they aren’t very hot. You can pour them on your body) and they’re made with natural oils such as hemp, avacado, vitamin E and apricot. They are also non-toxic and vegan. Available in a wide variety of scents from musky to fruity.
- The gift of something sexy: You have parties to go to. You may also want to have some bedroom fun to take the stress down a few notches. Corsets are a great accessory for both! Available in regular and plus sizes as well as underbust styles, corsets are wonderful way to accentuate your figure and make you feel amazing. I also love that they help my posture. You can also add wonderful accessories like stockings or frilly panties and shoes to add to the sexy factor.
- The gift of taking care of your needs: There are many ways of doing this. Speaking your mind, asking for help and so on. One area that doesn’t get talked about much are your sexual needs. Sometimes you just have to do it yourself! Get yourself some great toys, lubes and so on to help you get what you need whether it’s with a partner or alone. You deserve it!
- BONUS AND MOST IMPORTANT- THE GIFT OF LOVE: When you spend time with those you love this year, be present with them. It’s not about things. It’s not about the perfect meal. It’s about connecting with your loved ones. Take some deep breaths and let the extras be. You will have so much more fun!
Whatever you decide on, be sure to be good to yourself at this time – and all times – of year. Giving yourself good things will create a happier you who will have more energy, more love, more joy to do all those things you want to do for your family and friends. Go and give yourself some gifts this Christmas!
You even have a chance this week to check out some great ways to treat yourself – and others – at the Last Day of Shopping Open House this Sunday December 9. Godiva’s Toy Chest, Epicure, Fifth Avenue Jewelry, Partylite and Isagenix all in one place!
www.godivastoychest.com (please be sure to put “the bad kitty” in the comments section when you make an order)
Those who knew me when I was younger, knew me as an emotion stuffer. As a child and young adult I didn’t want others to know how deeply I felt things. It seemed easier to hide it than to let it out. I would try to calmly leave the room if I felt tears coming while watching a movie/TV show or even commercial. I felt it was better to keep things in rather than deal with any reactions to my emotions. It was so bad that no matter what the strong emotion was – anger, fear, sadness, even joy, the only way I could express it was in writing.
Emotional stuffing for me led to unreasonable outbursts, even temper tantrums until I was 12. It led to me feeling misunderstood and unheard, which was my own fault for not being honest about how I was feeling. It can also lead to illness, separating ourselves from others and even feeling less feminine.
Huh? I’ve never heard of that last one, you may have responded. Yes, it’s true. In my emotionally stuffed state, I remember feeling like I had to be in control, strong, more “male”.
On Saturday I co-presented a class with Sheri ‘Reilly. Part of Sheri’s portion of the day was about a process called Noble Healing which is a simple process to heal the “holes” in our lives created by betrayals, disrespect and hurts in general. If these things have been stuffed and not dealt with they effect us in unexpected ways.
One thing Sheri said to introduce the process was that “feelings are an ‘extra body organ’ for women. It is the source of feminine energy, power and life.”
We women feel deeply, whether we care to admit it or not. When we cut off that piece of ourselves, we cut off our power! This is also what sensuality is all about. We can’t be sensual without being in touch with our feelings. Sensual is about the senses, so if we cut off our feelings, we ignore the messages coming in from our senses. No wonder so many of us feel disconnected from our environment, from other people, from our dreams. It all comes back to our feelings.
If we get used to stuffing or ignoring our feelings, we get toxic in our body and mind. It’s time to let them out and stop being a turkey about it!
Allow your emotions to be what they are. If you feel yourself tearing up, allow yourself to cry. If you feel fear, acknowledge it for what it is. If you get angry, let it out. If you feel joy, do a little dance!
- If you are feeling something but aren’t sure what it is, take a moment to figure it out. Sometimes emotions blind side us. Take a moment to go, oh, ya, I’m actually angry/anxious/sad/shame/amused/envious/hopeful and so on.
- Know that emotions are simple. We often try to explain our emotion rather than labeling it. It seems safer. If you find yourself saying “I feel THAT…..” followed by a story, you aren’t in touch with your emotion. An emotion is a single word such as joy, pride, love, etc.
- Accept that whatever you’re feeling is acceptable. There is no use judging or trying to “fix” your emotions. They simply are what they are.
- Accept your emotions as your own. No one “made” you feel this way. It’s not “you made me angry”, it’s “I’m angry.”
Once we recognize and own our emotions, then we can do the work of healing if need be. Often we stuff the negative ones, trying to “protect” others. We all have a desire to be seen, accepted, understood. Others can’t give you that gift unless you show who you are. A big part of showing who you are is being honest about your emotions. Your honesty will also encourage others to do the same, bringing everyone closer.
Let us experience emotions with you. We can handle it. Really. Let us prove it to you.
There are a couple of acronyms for fear: False Expectations Appearing Real or Failure Expected And Received.
A more formal definition would be the anticipation of pain.
This definition illustrates the fact that fear is about the FUTURE. Can we live in the future? No, but our mind sure spends a lot of time there. It’s busy making up scenarios of what will happen if you do this thing you fear. And they’re always elaborate and a little crazy, just like a soap opera.
“Ugh, I really need to make this phone call. But the last time I did it the person was really rude to me. I’m sure they hate me. If I call again they’ll just get even more mad and what if they say something hurtful. I may as well not call anyone because then I won’t have to endure verbal abuse or hang ups or just being completely ignored. I’ll just watch TV.”
“I’d love to travel, but really I don’t have the money. And, besides, if I did it’s so dangerous out there. I keep hearing stories of people getting killed in their hotel or being kidnapped on tours or robbed in the street. I just know that’ll happen to me. The world is a crazy place. I think I’ll just stay home where it’s safe.”
Whatever your fear may be, your mind will make up elaborate stories to keep you safe.
My question to you is, would you rather be safe or happy? Would you rather be safe or successful?
Here’s a little secret for you – if you act in spite of your fear, they will get smaller and easier to deal with. As a result, you will still have fear and at the same time you’ll be happier and more successful.
Fear is a story. Tell yourself a different story.
“I get to make this call today! Last time she was a little surly. I’m sure whatever situation was going on has shifted and if it hasn’t, I’m willing to be patient and help out if I can. I love calling people and helping them, giving them great opportunities or a chance to get clear on what they really want. If it’s not what I have to offer, that’s totally cool. At least they’ve made a decision. Give me that phone!”
“I love travel. I’m a little short on cash right now, and I know that I can create what I need. There are so many great places to see, so many wonderful people to meet, so many adventures to be experienced. Why on earth would I just stay home?”
You control your mind, not the other way around. Choose what your story will be.
- Act in spite of fear. When fear comes up, as it will, take a deep breath, recognize it as a story of the future to keep you small and safe and go forward to create the future you want.
- Take chances. Do something every day that scares you, even if it’s something “small” like making that dreaded phone call.
- Reprogram your mind. When a fear shows up say “Thank you for sharing, I’m up to something else.”
- Decide what you really want. When you know what you want, you have direction. Fear will show up and you can go forward knowing the goal on the other side.
You control your life, not your fear. You can write a much better soap opera than the one your fear writes for you. Know that fear will come, be ready for it and write your own ending by moving past the fear and acting anyway.
Get on with the life you want. You deserve it!
Thank you to Barbilee and Robert for the idea of this post.
It can be difficult to be confident no matter what. To believe in our passion, to do what scares us, to go forward into the darkness. Like this cat, sometimes we even get ourselves into situations we don’t plan on and yet we must go on anyway. In the fear, in the doubt, keep moving.
In moments like these, you may not feel confident. All you may feel is stress, pain and/or fear. Others, seeing you from the outside, may be amazed at your fortitude. They may not say it in so many words, but when someone acts in integrity, against the odds we on the outside see that as being confident.
Your confidence may seem to go away sometimes. You may wonder if you even have any confidence, and yet you make progress in your life and inspire those around you. You are being confident – confidentially. You may not walk around puffing out your chest talking about how confident you are, but your actions say differently.
Now is the time to own your confidence – even when you feel you don’t have it. It’s there just below the surface. In any situation, whether you “feel” confident or not, there are ways to bring it to the surface.
- walk with your head held high like you own the place
- make a list of times when you’ve felt confident and review it when you feel your confidence lagging
- learn to say NO – standing up for your needs builds confidence
- smile when you look in the mirror
- do something everyday or at least every week that scares you
You are truly amazing and beautiful. Believe it and your confidence will soar. Keep challenging yourself – walk past the scarey dogs of your life – and acknowledge how great you are for doing it. Take a class like HOW TO WALK IN HIGH HEELS AND OTHER SECRETS OF CONFIDENT WOMEN and find where your confidence may be hiding.
Your confidence needn’t be confidential. Let your confidence flag fly and inspire others to do the same.
Not everyone likes heels. Some women hate them. Podiatrists and chiropractors will tell you to avoid them like the plague. Poorly made ones can be extremely uncomfortable. And yet, there’s something about wearing a great pair of heels that can be transformational.
Recently I was shopping with my sister. I was trying on dresses and wasn’t sure if I liked one as much as everyone else seemed to. Then I put on a pair of heels. My sister said with surprise, “wow, your posture just completely changed!” And I bought the dress.
Heels make you stand differently. They make you walk differently. They make you feel differently.
You may have noticed, however, that not everyone has the same positive reaction to heels. Some people look incredibly uncomfortable in heels. It’s not necessarily that the shoes are uncomfortable. It’s more that they’re uncomfortable in the shoes.
There can be a few reasons for this:
- she doesn’t usually wear them
- they’re taller or smaller than she’s used to
- she isn’t comfortable with the attention she recieves in those shoes
- she isn’t comfortable with the way she feels in the shoes – the sexual/sensual energy they create
Let’s address the last two. Wearing heels with attitude are a reflection of confidence.
Have you ever seen two women walking together wearing similar shoes and one is striding along with a swing in her hips and her head held high while the other is mincing along looking slightly anxious? Their attire is reflecting how they feel internally.
There is a thought that if you change the way you dress, the way you look, what you do for a living your life will transform. Yes and no. It may or
may not work – temporarily. In the long run no matter how many external changes are made, the internal feelings will eventually show up. That great outfit may make you feel ultra sexy one day and the next, the magic seems to have disappeared.
What’s a girl to do?
Confidence comes from the inside and is then expressed on the outside. We’ve spoken about confidence here before. Your external expression helps you build your confidence and, at the same time, you can’t rely on externals alone to change how you feel about yourself.
As you work on your confidence internally, have some fun with it on the outside.
- try clothes that are out of your comfort zone
- get a makeover
- wear heels!
Heels change how you carry yourself. When you let them do their magic, they will boost your confidence.
Are you a non heel wearer? Does the idea of walking in them give you an anxiety attack? Do you wonder why you aren’t as confident as you want to be?
How about a full day to learn and grow in your confidence? Check out The Bad Kitty’s new class coming in September: How to Walk in High Heels and Other Secrets of Confident Women.
Until then, challenge yourself, play and be patient as you figure things out. You are amazing and beautiful just as you are, now for you to own it!