Archive for the ‘sensuality’ Category

Let’s Get Naked

Let's Get Naked

Let’s Get Naked

Sheila Kelley is the force behind the pole dancing trend for women’s empowerment and fitness. Her book, The S Factor, has inspired thousands of women, including me.

A few years ago she did a Ted Talk called “Let’s Get Naked”.  She talks frankly about how important it is for us to be ourselves, to honor our sexuality and to move our bodies.

She says it all so well, there’s no need for me to expand.

Just watch.

And then, let’s get naked!

14 Easy Ways to Show Yourself Love

Show Yourself Love

Show Yourself Love

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner.  It is a day of love and lovers.  The color red and hearts are everywhere.  The pressure is on for grand gestures of love toward your special someone. It can be stressful for those with a partner to outdo previous years. The pressure is on for singles. As they watch happy couples all around them, sadness may creep in that they don’t have someone to share the day with.

Whether you are in a relationship or not, l’d like to remind you of the most important person who needs your love – YOU!  On Valentine’s and every other day, you deserve your own love.

In honor of the day, here are 14 Easy Ways to Show Yourself Love:

1. Keep a journal of success.  Every day write at least one thing  you acknowledge yourself for.

2. Say something positive about yourself when you look in the mirror.  Stop the judgement machine and look for good things.

3. Accept compliments graciously. Your acceptance of the generous gift from someone else who thinks highly of you is a great gift to give yourself.

4. Pat yourself on the back when you complete a difficult task.

5. When you reach a goal, give yourself a small gift of acknowledgement.

6. Speak positively to yourself. Keep the negative messages in check.

7. Eat well.  You deserve healthy, tasty food in your body.

8. Wear clothes that flatter you and make you feel amazing.

9. Exercise. Activity makes you feel good in body and mind.

10. Participate in activities/hobbies/classes.  Find ways to do things that you enjoy.

11. Set selfish goals.  Be sure to keep things that make you happy in your life.

12. Ask for what you want. Use your selfish goals and your knowledge of what you need and want to ask for it and get it.

13. Get good sleep – and enough of it.

14. Have a good sex life. Whether you are playing alone, with a partner or several partners, get what you want in the boudoir.

It’s that easy – and that difficult.  Get in the habit of doing several things every day to honor how amazing you are.  These are only 14 easy ways to show yourself love. Whether you do them all or only a few on a regular basis, you will see a shift in how you see yourself for the better.  Isn’t that worth a tiny bit of effort?  Treat yourself this Valentine’s Day and continue with it every day after that!

Hugs, Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty

To Be or Not To Be

To Be or Not To Be

To Be or Not To Be

I heard something the other day that really hit home.  It seemed so smart.  It made so much sense.  I just have to share!  The question is “to be or not to be.”

When speaking of experiencing emotions we say:

I am sad.

I am angry.

I am happy.

I am frustrated.

I am joyful.

Interesting.  We talk about how we all “have” emotions but when we’re in it, we say we “are” that emotion (am is the first person singular present tense of are).

What’s the big deal?

The definition of HAVE is: 1. to possess, own, hold or 2. experience, undergo

The definition of BE (am, are, etc in different tenses) is: to have presence in the realm of perceived reality; exist; live 

When we say “I am – fill in the emotion” – we are expressing that that is our reality.  It is how we are living, existing.

In many other cultures/languages they say “I have – fill in the emotion” which indicates that the emotion is a current experience that we are holding for that moment.  The big difference between am and have is that with have, you have the option to let go.

Using “am” makes it feel a part of you, like something that will never end.  For example, I am a woman.  I am 50 years old.  I am 6 feet tall.  It would take a lot of work to change these things and some, like age, are unchangeable.  Emotions, however, can change on a dime.  By using “am” to refer to them we are tricking ourselves into thinking the anger, sadness or even happiness, will never change.

Using “have” gives you choice.  I have anger right now.  I choose to be angry right now.  And I can decide in the next moment to “have” another emotion.  In the next moment I may “have” relief, happiness, frustration, excitement and so on.  “Have” gives so much more freedom around our emotions.  It promotes choice.  It gives the impression of the ability to let go.

Which sounds better to you?  I choose “have”.  My intention is to make a conscious effort to change the way I refer to my emotions from “am” to “have”. With the question to be or not to be, I choose not to be.

How about you?  Do you want your emotions to run you, to be your perceived reality or to be a temporary state of being that you are currently experiencing?  I hope to “have” my emotions along with you.


Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty

Setting Selfish Goals

Setting Selfish Goals

Setting Selfish Goals

Here is the post from last year about selfish goals.  I must admit, I don’t think I could say it any better this year.  Set your selfish goals.  It’s worth it!


Did you make any New Year’s resolutions? If you did, there’s a good chance you’ve already broken it – or them.

There’s something about a new year that gives us hope for self improvement. The chance to correct all the mistakes we’ve made so far. The opportunity to be more than you were and closer to the perfection you envision. No pressure.

And then it all falls apart in a few weeks or, if you’re especially motivated, a few months.

The most common resolutions are:

- get fit/lose weight/be healthier

- quit smoking

- quit drinking

- spend more time with the family/work less

- get out of debt

- learn something new

- get organized/declutter

Been there done that? And how’d it turn out for you?

How about an alternative?


What’s the difference you may ask.

- resolutions are big sweeping changes, selfish goals are little things to do just for you.

- resolutions can feel onerous and overwhelming, selfish goals can be fun and rewarding.

- resolutions are often a result of societal pressure like being a certain size while selfish goals come from a desire and passion to be and express your best self.

The difference can be subtle. Let’s break down selfish goals vs resolutions to make it clearer.

RESOLUTION: get fit/lose weight

SELFISH GOAL: What are the things you love to do anyway that you’ve dropped out of your life for various reasons? Try something like this on for size. I love to walk in nature. I’m going to set a goal to walk a minimum of three times a week. OR I love to dance. I’m going to take a dance class. There is no reference to weight or fitness. It’s about doing things you love which will have the surprising outcome of making you healthier.

RESOLUTION: quit smoking/drinking

SELFISH GOAL: Ask yourself WHY do you want to quit? If its because you should or someone is pressuring you, be prepared to fail. If it’s because you have a deep desire to live better and healthier, then break it down further. What will you be able to do/enjoy more when you’ve succeeded in quitting? Set goals around those things and it will give you motivation for the big quit.

RESOLUTION: spend more time with family.

SELFISH GOAL: This can be tricky. One aspect of Selfish Goals is they are about YOU. Setting a selfish goal that involves someone else can defeat the purpose. Often when we set goals that involve others we get defeated if they’re not on the same page. Ex: I want to go to Paris with my husband but if he hates to travel or can’t stand French people,will you let that stop you from going to Paris? SOLUTION: Before setting any family goals, find out what they want as well. Be sure to know what you want so that you don’t go along with the desires of others just to make peace. Now mesh the priorities of everyone as best you can. If they don’t want to be part of this goal, you may need to find other ways to satisfy this desire. Be prepared to be creative. Also realize that you need self time as well. Make sure your whole life isn’t wrapped around your family – especially you ladies!

RESOLUTION: get out of debt

SELFISH GOAL: Less debt is a noble goal. Unless you have a clear reason to get out of debt other than you “should”, it will never happen and will feel like a burden. Without the weight of debt around your neck, what would you be able to do? Travel? Buy better clothes? Give to charity? Set the selfish goals of what you will do when the debt is gone and remarkably the debt will shrink.

RESOLUTION: learn something new

SELFISH GOAL: What do you want to learn? Be very clear about the end result you want. Do you want to do something creative? Are you leaning toward something academic? Do you want to work alone or in a group? How much time/money are you willing to spend? Once you answer these questions, you can look for things that satisfy your needs. Being selfish in this way will guarantee a higher level of success with your endeavor. Most of all, be sure you’re having fun with it!

RESOLUTION: get organized

SELFISH GOAL: Why do you want to get organized? The why will help with the how. Cleaning out your closet is an onerous job. But when you do it to make room for new clothes, it feels more exciting. Organizing your office seems like the worst job ever. But when you do it knowing that you will feel more creative, it gives you energy. Always look for the why and the how will come. Being selfish in this way will create more motivation.

A University of Bristol study suggests that 88% of people fail their resolutions. Not very encouraging. Change to Selfish Goals that bring you joy, feed your passion, ramp up your energy and in general make you feel great, you will succeed.

Have fun being selfish!

Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty

Ask for What You Want – Feline Life Lesson #3

Ask For What You Want

Ask For What You Want

The next several posts will be related to a new book I’m working on.  The title – at this time – is Feline Life Lessons.  The short life lessons will be accompanied by cat pictures.  The pictures will be of my cats and those of my friends/followers.  So, if you have cats and some good shots of them, if you feel inspired by the lessons I will cover over the next several posts, please send them along.  You will, of course, get full credit for your pic(s).

ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT - Feline Life Lesson #3

Cats know how to get what they want.  We may not speak the same language, but the messages are still clear.

Attention?  They will touch your arm, rub against you, look at you and “ask” (meow).  My Izzy is a pro at pawing at me until I pay attention.  Marlowe will climb on me and start to purr.

Food?  They will run toward their food bowl or where the food is stored when you go near.  Some will nudge their bowl or knock it over to show it’s empty – or not full to their satisfaction.  Marlowe will stretch up and reach out to me.  He’s tall enough to touch the top of the countertop when he is at full length.  Izzy paws at the cupboard and wanders around the kitchen howling.

Clean my litter?  Complaining near the box or using another spot are a pretty clear indication.  Izzy will pee in my closet or poop near the box if it’s not clean to his satisfaction.  Marlowe isn’t as finicky.

Go outside?  Not everyone lets their cats outside.  When I first got Marlowe (a beautiful chocolate Siamese), I didn’t want him to go outside.  He made it very clear that this was NOT cool.  Siamese are famous for being very vocal – not only in quantity but also in quality.  He would walk back and forth from one door to the other yowling at the top of his voice.  Finally it was either let him out or throttle him.  So he got what he wanted.

Do you ask for what you want?  The only way to get what you want is to ask for it.  It sounds so basic and yet so often we expect our mind to be read.  “If he loves me, he should know what I want.”  “I really want that promotion.  I’m sure my boss will see that I’m the best person for the job.”

When we don’t get what we want even though we didn’t ask for it, we get all bent out of shape. “I can’t believe he got me THAT!”  “Really?  I’m am so much more qualified than she is!”

I have news for you, if you didn’t ask and you don’t get, it’s your own fault!  So start asking.

The other side of the coin is asking for what you want and still not getting it because you weren’t totally clear.  For example, I turn 50 next year.  I’ve told my partner that I want to have/do something special for this milestone.  So far I’m not really clear on what exactly that is.  I can leave it in his hands and get what I get – and maybe end up disappointed.  Or I can get clear on what I really want and be sure he fully understands.

To get what you want:

  • know what you want – be clear with yourself first
  • ask for what you want – be absolutely clear and detailed
  • be sure you are understood
  • if any detail is unclear to the person you are communicating with, repeat it until they understand; realize that you may need to word it differently if it’s unclear to the other person
  • if it is a request that will need to be accomplished over a period of time, check in on a regular basis to make sure things are still going according to plan.

Let’s go back to my 50th birthday.  Sure, it might be fun to just see what happens.  He knows he can collaborate with my sister and best friend.  If I choose to go that route  and “hope” that he does something I’ll be impressed with.  If I do that, I’ll have to be prepared to be happy with whatever I get.

It’s your choice.  Ask for exactly what you want or hope for the best because you don’t want to have to tell people what you want.  It’s your call.  If you opt for the second option, be prepared to be disappointed and don’t blame anyone other than yourself.

I would rather be a cat and be clear and get what I want.  It’s a lot more satisfying.

Live Feline Life Lesson #3 and ask for what you want!


Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty

Feline Life Lessons #1

Don't Take Anything Personally

Don’t Take Anything Personally

I had an idea for a new book.  It would be little life lessons and pictures.  The title – at this time – is Feline Life Lessons.  The short life lessons would be accompanied by cat pictures.  The pictures would be of my cats and those of my friends/followers.  So, if you have cat(s) and some good shots of them, if you feel inspired by the lessons I will cover over the next several posts, please send them along.  You will, of course, get full credit for your pic(s).

Today, Feline Life Lessons #1: DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

My chocolate Siamese, Marlowe, has this lesson down.  He likes to sleep with me at night. He will snuggle right next to me. If he was bigger, you would say he was spooning.  He usually wraps up right behind my knees.  Unfortunately sometimes he curls up before I’m completely settled.  In these cases he will get moved, bumped and even knocked off the bed while I’m trying to get comfortable.  It doesn’t faze him at all.  He just keeps coming back and laying down.  Eventually, I will be settled and so will he.  He also likes to sleep on my chest when I’m on my back.  When I roll over, he won’t get huffy, he’ll just change his position to match mine.

If he was a person, he’d get all bent out of shape.  He might think, or even say, “What?  Don’t you love me?  What’s going on?  You don’t want to snuggle?  Did I do something wrong?  Well, then, maybe I just won’t snuggle with you anymore.  Jerk.”  As a cat, he doesn’t take it personally.  He knows at some level that it’s not about him.

This last week I had to take Marlowe to the vet.  He’s about 12 years old and this is the first time I’ve taken him.  I give him his shots myself so there’s never been a need.  The last time he was at a vets office is probably when his previous owners took him to get fixed.  I took him in to get a cyst removed from his side.  You’d think he would be pretty pissed at me for that.

Nope, he didn’t take it personally.  He didn’t hold a grudge.  He was happy to be home and be able to snuggle and get his love.  Even if he did have to wear an embarrassing cone and weird sweater, he realized it wasn’t about him.  It just needed to be.

So take a lesson from Marlowe.

  • It’s not about you.  Others are wrapped up in themselves.  Any perceived snub is about how the other person feels, what they need.  Not about you.
  • A thing is what it is.  There is no need to read anything into events.  Like Marlowe’s cyst, sometimes a thing just needs to be and to be dealt with.  It has nothing to do with you.
  • Expect the best of others.  In general, there is usually a good reason for what is happening.  It’s not about you.

I look forward to sharing more Feline Life Lessons with you.  Live like a cat and see how your life improves!


Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty



Judging Things by Their Skin

Do you judge a building by it's skin?

Do you judge a building by it’s skin?

Recently I was listening to an interview about architecture.  One comment stuck with me.  “We judge a building by it’s skin.”  In other words, if a building is made of brick, we call it a brick building.  If it’s concrete, we call it a concrete building, a wood building and so on.  It doesn’t matter what’s inside, we always describe it by it’s appearance.  We are always judging things by their skin.

My sister recently painted the outside of her house.  Her neighbors told her that they were thrown off because for years they’ve been telling people to “turn at the pink house” and now their house if no longer pink.  Here in Edmonton we have a city hall with pyramids.  Unless you’re from here, you don’t know what’s inside – or rather under – those peaks so you would call it “the building with the pyramids on the roof.”

What we see on the outside is what we refer to.  It’s the easiest thing to see.  What is true for buildings is also true for people.

We tend to describe people by their appearance.  The blonde.  The tall one.  The one in orange.  The one with the beard.  The Asian.  We respond to what we see.

But, like buildings, that’s not really who we are.  And often our outsides don’t really match our insides.

I have the unfortunate genetics that cause my mouth to naturally turn downwards.  When I am wearing a neutral expression, I look angry no matter what my actual mood.  I have been told many times that I look mean.  I’ve been told that I was not the aloof, grouchy person that was expected once someone got to know me.  My boyfriend is always telling me that I look nasty when I’m concentrating.

I know this about my face so I make an effort to smile, even slightly, as much as possible. And I can’t do it 24/7 either.

I’m certainly not immune judging things by their skin.  I’ve met many people that I thought were one way from first impressions and discovered I was completely wrong.  Whether it’s the way they dress, how they speak, their face, their gender, their race – there are a lot of outer features we use as guides to make an initial judgement.

There’s no use in judging yourself as a bad person for using these visual cues.  It’s a normal, natural way that your subconscious uses to keep you safe.  The step to take now is to be aware of it.  Once aware of judgement, it’s much easier to look beyond it and determine if it’s correct.  Sometimes it is correct, sometimes it isn’t.

Years ago, I noticed that when I was driving past someone that “looked sketchy” because they were aboriginal or wearing biker gear or simply seemed shifty, I would lock my doors.  Once I noticed I was doing this, I became aware of it and was more willing to be less reactionary.  Yes, there are situations when it’s good to be cautious.  And, on the other hand, driving through Edmonton on a sunny afternoon is probably pretty safe.

It’s easy to judge that a young man with his pants down around the bottom half of his butt is a slacker.  It’s easy to judge that a woman in a short skirt is looking for sexual attention.  It’s easy to judge that someone in frumpy clothes doesn’t care about themselves.  It’s easy to judge that a 40 year old is more responsible than a 20 year old.  It’s easy to judge that someone overweight is unhealthy.  It’s easy to judge that someone dressed up or in really good shape is overly concerned about perception.

I’m sure you can come up with people or situations where all of these judgments have been proved wrong in your own life or by someone you know.

After becoming aware of our judgments, the next step is not to try to irradiate them.  That is impossible.  The next step is to test them.  How do you do that?  Simple.


It’s when we get to know someone that we find out if our initial impressions were true or not.  And, very often, they are not.

  • Acknowledge that it’s natural to judge things by their skin.
  • Notice when you do it.
  • Test your judgement by getting to know people or simply by asking questions.

It’s easy, and hard.  And so worth it.  We miss out on so much by making assumptions and not testing their truth or falsehood.  Take a step today and test out one of your judgments by getting to know someone a little better.  Just like a building, we are so much more than what’s on the surface.

The Three Instincts

The Three Instincts

The Three Instincts

August has been a month of inspiration for me.  I was in Edinburgh, Scotland with my man, sister and brother in law for the first part of the month.  In addition to castles, caverns and churches we went to shows at the largest Fringe in the world.  That’s a story in and of itself!  Then home for the second largest Fringe in the world.  At both Fringes I saw good, mediocre and poor shows.  Shows that inspired and shows that made me laugh.

For inspiration, one of the shows I saw here at home was Marathon written and performed by Fringe veteran, TJ Dawe.  TJ has been on a growth and discovery path over the past few years and these themes appear in his shows.  One of the topics he discussed in this show was the three instincts from the Enneagram personality system.

The Three Instincts are:

  • Self Preservation:  This is the instinct to be sure you are safe and taken care of.   This instinct features a great deal of independence and desire for comfort.  It is a gathering of energy.
  • Sexual:  Despite the name, this is not all about sex.  This instinct is about one on one connection and seeking new experiences.  It is a giving/releasing of energy.
  • Social:  This instinct leads to seeking the company of others.  It is a sharing of energy.

Everyone has all three instincts.  We all have one that’s our fallback, the one that makes us feel safest.

  • Self Preservation types are the ones who over pack for trips “just in case”.   They always have water and snacks with them.  Everything about their surroundings is about being sure that there are no surprises and they won’t have to ask for help.
  • Sexual types look for chances to take risks.  They often do things alone or with one other person.  They like to be stimulated and surprised.
  • Social: types love to be around groups.  They will make sure that they go out with lots of friends.  They look for ways to connect with many people at a time.  They feel best surrounded by others.

We also all have one that’s in balance.  It exists in us without running our life.

The third instinct will be our challenge.  It’s the one we have to make an effort to cultivate.  Not sure what it is?  Look at your life and if it’s the one you “brag” about when you do it, that’s your challenge spot.  Proud when you remember your water bottle?  Self Preservation is your challenge.  Pat yourself on the back when you do something new?  Sexual is hard for you.

For me, it’s Social.  When I’m in a social situation I can appear very comfortable as I’ve been working on it for years.  However, I always have anxiety and have to talk myself into going to anything in a group.  Especially if it’ll be mostly strangers.  Then, when I do get myself to go, I make a big deal out of it.  I’ll list it in my successes for the day.  I’ll pat myself on the back.  I may even tell someone else about how amazing I was because I talked to two new people!  Wowzers.

I thought for sometime as to which of the three instincts are my strong point.  Without doing a full analysis based on the Enneagram method, this is what I’ve concluded.

I switch back and forth between Self Preservation and Sexual depending on how I’m feeling about myself.

When I feel lost or unsure of myself, I’m all about Self Preservation.  All I want to do is stay safe.  I’ll worry about the future.  I’ll make sure I have as much safe padding around me as possible so I don’t feel out of control.  I get more introspective and withdraw.

When I’m feeling good about myself and my direction, I’m all about the Sexual instinct.   I put myself out there.  I take risks.  I speak boldly.  I’m creative and out of the box.    Self Preservation still exists (I tend to have water and snacks with me) but it’s more secondary, more in balance.

So, what does this all mean?  Well, to be completely honest, I’m not sure.  I found this concept very interesting and wanted to share it.  I think it’s important to be aware of how we function and what makes us tick, what runs us.  I look forward to learning more and getting more insights on how these manifest in my life.

This information has really helped me see my patterns.  Awareness allows us to be clear about what we need to go forward and what is holding us back.

Knowing that I struggle with the Social instinct (which is really not a surprise) helps me put more attention on building it up.

Knowing that I flip flop between Self Preservation and Sexual helps me be aware of when I’m in my passion and when I’m struggling with direction.  This awareness can help me seek solutions to the latter.

I’d be curious to hear what your thoughts are on the Three Instincts.  What are your strengths and challenges and how does it manifest in your life?

Have a PURRfect day!

Hugs, Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty




Princess Craze

princessOn the CBC show Head too Toe yesterday there were some parents talking about keeping their young girls from participating in the princess craze that seems to be running rampant.   The concern of these parents was to keep their daughters from thinking that this is the only way that you can be a girl.  Their solution was to ban it.

While I understand the desire to teach their girls that they don’t have to wait for Prince Charming to save them, that they are strong and capable of anything, I feel that their approach is misguided.  Banning one point of view does not help confirm another.

How is this any different from banning your boys from playing with dolls?  Or banning girls from playing in the dirt?   Or from telling your girl she’s pretty and your boy he’s smart?  Or from dressing your boys in blue and your girls in pink?  Or from telling them that girls are good at some things and boys another?

The key is not taking away one thing hoping they will gravitate to another, it’s about teaching them balance.

Playing princess is not inherently a bad thing – whether it’s your girl or your boy.  It’s one of many ways that children explore who they are and what is possible in their lives.  It doesn’t mean they’re going to want to “be a princess” when they grow up.  Unless, of course, they get the message that that’s the best option along with the dresses and shoes.

One story I loved in the show yesterday was the woman who was looking through a book on Princess Di with her daughter.  In that book she saw pictures of her in jeans and body armor and in various situations.  This was a moment to let her daughter know that being a princess isn’t all about pretty dresses and living in a castle.  It’s about helping people, about love and caring, about taking responsibility and being strong – just like everyone else in the world.

It feels to me that the need to blur the lines between gender has gone too far.  There is nothing wrong with being female or male or a little of both.

Another story I recently heard on CBC gave a little more hope.  It was about a young boy in Edmonton who started life as a girl.  He knew from a very young age that this just wasn’t right.  He confided in his little sister who then told their parents.  They talked to their daughter about her need to be treated as and eventually be a boy and realized that it was real.  Now this 13 year old is living as a boy.  He won’t be able to get his gender reassigned for some time, but in the meantime, he is treated as a he.  His friends accept him, his family accepts him, his school is behind him.

Gender is fluid and solid at the same time.  It’s important at a young age to be able to explore.  It’s important for parents not to freak if their children waver from what they think their gender means and simply let them be who they are in that moment.

When I was young I wanted to be a boy.  There were many reasons for this including that my parents divorced when I was young and as the oldest I felt I needed to be strong and, for me in the early 70′s, that meant being more boy-like.  I always wanted to be the dad when playing house.  I would put a ball in my pajamas to see what it would be like to be a boy.  I never felt I wanted to be a boy, just more like the boys.  It passed.  It took me a long time, though, to really accept that I could be as strong as I felt I was and needed to be as a woman.

The important thing is to teach our children – and accept ourselves – that anything is possible no matter what genitals are attached to our body.  Whether we are dressed as princesses or bikers.  Whether we decide to be nurses or rocket scientists.  Celebrate the individuality we are all born with.

I just got back from Edinburgh and while there, I checked out some shows at their giant Fringe Festival.  The show No Belles  was the one I enjoyed most.  It was 3 women telling stories about women, well known and less known, who excelled in science.  It was a well structured show that really touched my heart.  Despite all odds – no pay, sickness, lack of respect and more – these women went ahead and made a difference.

If your little girl is into princesses right now, it will pass.  Tell her stories, let her wear pretty dresses, let her watch the Disney movies and, at the same time, give her other options and tell her stories of women who made their own way and made a difference in the world.

Allow yourself and your children to express who they are, to look into options and ideas, to follow their dreams and just be.  Even the princess craze is OK.

Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty

I Might Have to Change My Name!

Staffordshire terrier and catI love laughter.  It lightens the heaviness that sometimes comes with living.  It’s great for the soul.  It’s also good for your health and your skin.

Recently I was listening to a comedian who compared women to dogs and men to cats.  What!  If this is true, I might have to change my name!

It was an very funny piece.  I can’t really do it justice, so go ahead and listen to Jodi Miller explain why men are cats and women are dogs.

Can you see her point?  The aloof cat expecting to be fed and looking out the window at nothing?  Yep, that’s a man.  The dog eager to please, wanting company, cleaning up after everyone.  Yep, that’s a woman.

A little more clinical, but just as funny is this explanation between men’s and women’s brains and how they work.  You could still use the word cat and dog to explain them as well!  Check out a Tale of Two Brains.

I can totally see that comparison.  However, the reason I call myself – and all women – Bad Kitties still stands.

Just in case you’ve forgotten, this is why:

Cats are all individuals.   They all have their own unique personality.  We bring them into our home and expect them to behave in a certain way so when they scratch the furniture or eat the plants we yell at them “bad cat!”   They will stop what they’re doing – until your back is turned.

Cats are always true to who they are.

We, like cats, are born perfect and beautiful with our own unique personality.  We are also born into a society that expects us to behave in a certain way.  Wanting to be loved and accepted, we take those parts of ourselves that we are told are “wrong” or “bad” and put them into little boxes with tight lids.  We take those boxes into the sub-sub basement of ourselves and put them behind a 12″ steel door with 14 padlocks and pretend it doesn’t exist.

We then go through our lives wondering why we have lost our passion, keep making bad decisions, set aside our dreams and, in general, can’t seem to be happy.

Being a Bad Kitty is about grabbing a blowtorch, heading down to that sub-sub basement and cutting off all those padlocks.  After flipping open the door, take out the little boxes, flip open the lids and take back those parts of yourself that you’ve been hiding.

When that happens you become a Bad Kitty:

B eautiful (as you are; no changes required)

A uthentic (you are amazing just as you are; no changes required)

D ivine (honoring your spirit, your passion, yourself)

K ompletely (no compromise)

I ndividual (beautiful in your uniqueness)

T otally (every bit of you adds up to something fabulous)

T rue (constant, unaffected by the standards of others)

Y ou (yes, YOU are a Bad Kitty!)

Whether you feel more like a dog or a cat, you deserve to live your life as a Bad Kitty, given the definition above.  So find ways to be true to you.  Love yourself in all your crazy fabulousness.  Take care of the body you’ve been given.  Honor your dreams and goals.  Stand up for you!

Because you, yes YOU are a Bad Kitty.  Be Beautiful, Be YOU!

Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty