Archive for the ‘sexuality’ Category

We women have spent many years – even decades – bemoaning the fact that men rule the world and we’re the accessories.  This seems especially true in the entertainment industry.  Actresses, if they haven’t made it by 30, are basically screwed.  On air personalities, once they hit middle age are usually replaced or put on the back burner whereas men often work well into their senior years.  Oh, how unfair, we whine.

Well, my dears, the times they seem to be a-changing.  Mary Hart, at nearly 50, is still anchoring Entertainment Tonight.    Barbara Walters, Katie Couric and many others are still the face of journalism along with stalwarts like Tom Brokaw and Lloyd Robertson.

In the movie world, it’s been a great year for those who might have been considered washed up a decade ago.

Meryl Streep as Julia Child

At 60, Meryl Streep had a wonderful year with Julie and Julia and It’s Complicated.

In Julie and Julia she is engaging and funny as Julia Child.  From giving the uptight examiner at the Cordon Bleu School a raspberry to beautiful and sexy moments with her husband (the gloriously supportive and understated Stanley Tucci) she is by far the best part of the movie.  She shows older women in the light of someone who can pursue her dreams at any age,  is sexually active (even though Julia was a virgin until 40) and can have a blast doing all of it.  Meryl is by far the most interesting part of this movie.  Amy Adams as Julie Powell who created the Julie/Julia project that the movie is based on, is quite dull.  The contrast between the joy of age and truly knowing  yourself and whiney youth is stark.

It’s Complicated has Meryl playing a newly divorced woman having an affair with 2 men, including her ex husband.  What a joy to see a woman of age having a great time in the bedroom!  And being the object of desire.  Rock on, ladies, we are sexy at any age!

Helen Mirren, who I’ve mentioned here before, is 64.  This year she has a movie called The Last Station where she plays Leo Tolstoy’s wife,

Helen Mirren in The Last Station

secretary and muse Sofya.  At a time when many are seeking a pension, Helen has created another older woman who is strong, in love, wants sex, fights for her rights, works hard and is loyal to those she loves (Sofya wrote out War and Peace 6 times – by hand!).  From what I have seen in the trailer, she’s by far the most interesting part of the movie, even ecplipsing Christopher Plummer (whom I love) as T0lstoy.  In addition, Helen has 3 more movies coming out this year!  Women Rock!

Betty and Sandra in The Proposal

Another icon, Betty White – 87, mopped the floor with Sandra Bullock (who’s no spring chicken anymore, either and had a very good year as well with The Blind Side ) and Ryan Reynolds in The Proposal.  Her comic timing is impeccable and she has so much fun doing what she does.  She is a master and hasn’t lost one iota of her brilliance despite the fact that she’s at the age that many are sitting around bemoaning the life they wished they had or the past they wish they could have back.  Women are tough so never quit!

The success story of the year is Jane Lynch.  Turning 50 this year and having been a bit player in many movies,

Jane Lynch as Sue Sylvester

including Julie and Julia as Julia’s sister, Jane came into her own this year with the huge hit Glee.  Jane plays an hilariously nasty Cheerleading coach in this series about a high school glee club.  She is the villain and she obviously loves it!  One of the big costumes this year for halloween was a short blonde wig and a track suit with a holier than thou, uber bitch attitude as Sue Sylvester from Glee.  Jane shows it’s never too late to hit your stride.  Keep going, ladies, your dream may be just around the corner!

No matter what your age, ladies, you are amazing, beautiful, sexy and worthy.  Always remember that.  As you go into the new year, grab your life by the horns and go for your dreams.  No matter where you are on the age scale, you can learn, grow and LIVE LARGE!

Hugs and Happy New Year!

Be Beautiful, Be YOU!

www.thebadkitty.com

Love in the Summer, but what about the Winter?

Once again, Andrea Nemerson has written something that’s caught my attention.  She wrote about winter sex drive, and why some lack libido when the days shorten and get colder.  Her conclusion was that there is a neuropeptide amusingly called “kisspeptin” that regulates the release of libido enhancing hormones (in hamsters at least) which could be responsible for a lower libido in winter.

There may be something to that.  With the lack of sun and activity, our bodies slow down and go into a modified hibernation mode.  Many develop Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and need to take anti-depressants just to get through the winter season.  Others find their creativity and motivation levels decrease.  Still others actually LOVE this cold season and their activity levels, as well as their libido, go up.  There is an increase in children born in late summer/fall as a result of all those people coupling in the winter whether to keep warm, to stave off boredom or as a result of being ridiculously horny!

Whether your kisspeptins or other hormone levels are low in winter or not, there are plenty of ways to get out of the doldrums.

My Man in Marmot

My man is a great example.  He is one of the lovers of the winter season.  He’s a powder junkie.  He absolutely loves going down a mountain on his snowboard getting faceshots from the fresh pow.  I call myself a Powder Widow as he’s gone most weekends hitting the slopes hard.  The benefit is that he’s horny as hell when he gets back!  Being in the fresh air does incredible things for his libido.

Try these tips when you’re feeling low in the winter:

1. Get outside! The daylight hours may be short, but a walk, skate, ski, snowball fight, snow angel or even shovel in the crisp air will invigorate you.

2. Do infrared.  Infrared light is what makes things grow.  Spending time in an infrared sauna will help increase your energy levels as well as many other benefits that a tanning bed can’t give you – and without the cancer risk!  Plus, you get to be naked and sweat (I nap, too) for half an hour.  Nice!

3. Set goals for yourself.  Make long term and short term goals.  The short term will give you something to strive for daily.  The long term will give you something to look forward to.  Be sure to break the long term into smaller chunks.

4. Have sex! Even if you don’t really feel like it, you might be surprised what can “come up” if you do it anyway.  Make everything you do about foreplay. Conversation – look deep into each other’s eyes.  Touch – pat your partner’s butt when you pass them, hold hands, stroke the face, etc.  Smell – wear your best fragrance.  Visual – light candles, set a beautiful table.  Food – feed each other with sexy food like strawberries, oysters, pomegranate, anything with a yummy sauce.  There are so many ways to make the everyday into foreplay!

All of these will help you tap into your sensual side which will help you have more motivation, even if the sun goes down before dinner time.

Have a great winter – and have plenty of sex – you may as well make use of all the darkness!

Hugs, Christie

Be Beautiful, Be YOU

www.thebadkitty.com

Another excerpt from my almost finished book:

Because Sensuality and Sexuality are so closely related, one of the first parts we women shut down when we go into the overwhelm, martyr state is our Sexuality. It leads to a cascade reaction of shutting everything else down as well. When you’re not fully present and feeling in one area, it affects all.

This is a big subject and could be a book in itself. Let’s do our best to keep it simple. Sex is a super-charged subject in our society. Mention homosexuality, pre-marital sex, extra-marital sex, fetishes, prostitution or anything else to do with the larger subject of sex, and you’re bound to get a lively reaction. People will be immediately engaged and wanting to express opinions, others will shut down and want to change the subject. No matter what, there will be a reaction.

In reality, it’s like the word fuck – it’s not inherently a good or bad thing, it’s simply there and it’s what we create around it that makes it good or bad in our minds. It’s surrounded by standards. Whether you’re brought up in a religious, secular or hippie home there are expectations and standards communicated verbally and by example all around. We take on these standards naturally and begin to believe they are right without testing them.

Then, we start to explore our sexuality, we start to get into relationships and discover that not everyone has the same feelings and standards around sex. We may also discover that what we’ve learned is becoming a little confusing because it doesn’t match with reality. And then add some overwhelm and disenchantment with the way our lives are going and it’s no wonder that we close down or give little attention to our sexual side.

It took a long time for me to really grasp my sexuality, which meant I had to tap into my sensuality first. Now, my sexuality is an integral and integrated part of me. I’m clear on what I need – and what I don’t, like marriage. I’m clear on what I like. I’m more willing to try new things. I’m no longer embarrassed by being sexual. I’m comfortable in my body and although it’s far from perfect, I love being naked. I enjoy multiple partners. I’ve discovered that I’m bi and love women almost as much as men. I like groups, BDSM and anal. All of these things I wouldn’t have even considered had I stayed stuck in the standards of others. And oh how much pleasure I would have missed!

Without knowing your full expression through Authentic Sensuality, you may be putting on a false Sexuality. My authentic sexuality is different than yours. Like all other areas of your life, you need to be clear on who you are, what you want and communicate it effectively in order to live authentically.

When I see people come out to clubs and sit in a corner until they’ve had a few to become “comfortable” with flirting and dirty dancing I know that that is not their authenticity. It may be part of them, but they have not come to a place that they can express it honestly yet. They still feel they need a little extra courage. Until you can express your desires in all areas of your life, especially sexually, straight and unencumbered by manufactured confidence, you aren’t Authentic.

There are so many aspects to Sexuality. Have fun with it. Explore, be in the moment. Like everything else in your life, it’s simply a part of your full expression. Until you allow it to be real for you you cannot be fully Authentic in your Sensuality.

Remember, gorgeous kitties – Be Beautiful, Be YOU!

www.thebadkitty.com