Archive for the ‘beauty’ Category

Who's Sexier?

Those of you who read this blog on a regular basis will already know this – Helen Mirren is a big hero of mine.  Wonderfully talented, gentle, and HOT for any age.

Imagine my delight when I read this morning that Helen Mirren and Megan Fox (of transformers fame) are being pitted against each other in the Esquire sexiest woman contest.  They are opening it up to online votes this year and so far Helen is winning!

And what did the ever humble Brit have to say?  “Personally I think Ms. Fox is one of the smartest, coolest, and sexiest creatures in the Western Hemisphere. I am gobsmacked.”  Well, darling, in my opinon, you wipe the floor with Miss Fox.

Yes, Yes, Megan is hot.  And she knows it.  She has the virtue of youth on her side.  As Marie Stopes said, “You can take no credit for beauty at 16. (or in this case, 22)  But if you are beautiful at 60, it will be your soul’s own doing.”

I hate it when people say, “you look great….for your age.”  Yes, Helen is 63 and doesn’t look like most 63 year olds I know.  But what difference does it make how old she is?  She’s beautiful!  And the reason has as much to do with her “great rack” as Esquire says as it does to do with her obvious comfort with herself and her joy of life.  The experiences she’s had and lessons she’s learned are what make her gorgeous, even more than her fabulous (for her age *eye roll*) body.

So go now and vote for the woman you feel is sexiest.  Vote for the glory of youth or fabulous experience. There are 14 other choices if neither of these women is your first choice.

As far as I’m concerned, every woman I know deserves the sexy prize.  Whether you’re 20 or 60, as long as you’re you and living your life on your terms, you’re beautiful to me.  You all get my vote!  Go out this weekend and celebrate your own sexy self.

Hugs,

Christie

www.thebadkitty.com

This is a reprint of an article I wrote that appears in Womanition magazine.  Enjoy!

Ladies, when’s the last time you thought of yourself before your kids, your husband, your work? When someone asks you about yourself, do you define yourself by your family and work? Have you forgetten your dreams? Do you rush through your day barely registering each moment?

Before you start justifying or beating yourself up, let me assure you, you are not alone! You, like most modern women, are suffering from the Martyr Complex.

Women are caregivers. Men do the fighting, we do the healing. This is how we’re naturally built.  The problem comes when our caregiving nature overtakes everything else.

The martyr is the woman who has forgotten that she is important. The martyr doesn’t recognize that in order to give she has to take care of herself. The martyr is running on empty. The martyr is slowly killing herself on the inside.

Signs of the Martyr Complex:

1.Thinking of everyone else first. How often have you taken care of everyone else all day and barely leave enough time and energy to wash your face before you crawl into bed? How many times have you given up what you really want to do in a day so someone else will be happy?

2. Forgetting your dreams. If someone asked you “what’s your passion or your dream,” would you know how to answer? Once I did a workshop with a number of women. I asked them to introduce themselves and tell the group a big dream they have. Some couldn’t think of one, others only thought of things like, “for my children to be happy.” This is not a bad dream. My question is what about YOU! What do YOU want more than anything completely selfishly for yourself?

3. Lack of presence. Do you run around so much that your feet barely touch the ground? When you’re driving are you on the phone, doing your hair and rummaging in your purse? You may have seen the kleenex commercial where the woman is walking around going through her day as a voice over says “touch door knob, touch toothbrush, touch, touch, touch.” She reaches for a tissue and stops, smiles, takes the box and the voice says “feel.” That is being present, taking the time to notice and be aware in each moment.

How do you fight the Martyr Complex? With Authentic Sensuality. Sensuality is your senses, how you interact with the world. Authenticity is using your Sensuality in the world in a way that is true to who you are. Authentic Sensuality is simply expressing your true self in every situation.

When I was younger,I was constantly adjusting myself to what I thought was acceptable in each situation. I tried to be strong because that’s how my mom described me which led to me hiding my emotions. I tried to be the good little church girl and hid my wild side. I tried to be a good student and not get in trouble. I became introverted because I was less likely to make a faux pas if I just kept my mouth shut! I had few friends. I was invisible.

Now I know who I am, what is important to me. I’m true to myself no matter what. I have many friends. I receive amazing opportunities. No one would call me invisible! I’m clear on what I want from life. I have more time and energy for others because I look after myself.

Authentic Sensuality makes life easy. Getting there takes time and effort.

How to rediscover your Authentic Sensuality:

1. Write down 20 selfish goals. Things just for you! Go back to your youth to remember the things that made you excited. Pick one you can do right away and do it. Choose another long term one to work toward over the next few weeks or months

2. Spend a day without a cell phone, iPod or other device. Take a walk, go out for dinner – really enjoy every moment without distraction.

3. Do something for you. Go shopping with friends and try on something expensive or outrageous. Read a book. Go for a pedicure. Take me time.

4. Dance! Nothing gets you in touch with yourself faster than dancing. Do it alone tor go out with friends. Take a class. Move your beautiful body!

5. Accept a compliment. We get compliments all the time and toss them off. Accept the gift. Look the giver in the eye and say thank you. Notice how you walk taller and smile.

6. Look in the mirror. Ignore your negative judgements. Notice how beautiful your eyes are, your fabulous smile, your beautiful curves. Appreciate your body for all it does and thank it.

The key to Authentic Sensuality is remembering that you are beautiful – inside and out – just as you are. Have you ever met someone to whom you were immediately drawn? That’s because they were Authentic. No matter what you look like, when you are Authentic, you are incredible!

My challenge for you is to see your beauty. Express your Authenticity. Enjoy your Sensuality. Live your true self, remember your dreams, love yourself first! When you are in this space, it’s so much easier to deal with life’s craziness. You will be happier and so will those you touch. Give yourself, and those around you, the gift of you.

Remember this mantra – BE BEAUTIFUL, BE YOU!

To understand more about YOUR true Sensuality and how to express it, contact The Bad Kitty about Sensuality Coaching!

Just after talking about using “real” models on German magazine covers, this ridiculously photo shopped ad is released.    Is this a backlash against reality or just a really stupid choice by the marketing department?

Either way, it has me concerned.  The reaction has been unsurprisingly strong from the public.  The blog post on boing boing has, to date, received over 50 comments.  On photshop disasters, over 200.  This image is an obvious manipulation.  I don’t care how skinny someone is, when the hips are smaller than the head, there is definitely something up!  Compare that picture to this one. 

I have a sneaking suspision that it may have had some work done on it as well, but it’s not as obvious.  When the “adjustments” are inhuman, it’s easy to be outraged.  No one looks like that, yikes!  How ugly!  However, we’ve been looking at false images of models, celebrities and even regular people for years and have come to think that that’s what they actually look like.  The tabloids love to sell editions of “what they really look like” pictures.  Wow, they look like you and I do when we just get up or have no make up on.  Shocking!

So the question is, how long is it before we accept the ridiculously distorted images as reality?  We eventually become immune to things.  We get tired of analyzing and simply accept it as normal, regular, the way things are.

Be clear that reality is beautiful.  The manufactured is impossible.  Today is the day to stop striving for the impossible and accept the beautiful – reality.  Be in love with you, no matter where you are in your journey.  Only a worldwide wash of love for what is will stop the advancement of what can never be.

Be Beautiful, Be YOU, the world needs you!

Love you,

Christie

www.thebadkitty.com

This morning on Facebook a friend posted an article about a German magazine, Brigitte, banning models for “real” women.  Notices like that always seems to get women’s panties in a knot.  Yes, Yes, we think!  It’s about time!  Ban the skinny bitch.  Bring back the curves!

Up until today, I whole heartedly agreed.  As a 6′ size 12 woman, I always took exception to being called “plus” size by the fashion industry.  Ok, Ok, reality check!  At 6′, size 12 is average.  At 5′2″, it’s another story.  At 6′ size 2 is scarey.  At 5′2, it’s average.  It’s all relative.

There’s nothing wrong with being average.  There’s nothing wrong with being skinny – unless you’re hurting yourself to get there.  There’s nothing wrong with having a little extra baggage – again unless you’re hurting yourself.  If you’re eating or not eating because of feeling badly about yourself, there’s a whole other problem to be dealt with.

I’m sure many of you are still going, “hey, what do you mean up until today you whole heartedly agreed!  The fashion industry is making us all feel fat with all the super skinnies they put their clothes on, how can you not be outraged!”

Yes, I’m outraged.  I’m outraged that we are given a false sense of beauty.  That we are handed a bill of goods that 0% body fat is a good thing.  What I’ve changed my mind about is that ALL women need to be represented.  The skinnies – again, as long as it’s natural and not drug or vomit induced (there are girls out there like that, y’know!), the average and the large.

The backlash against skinny girls has created reverse discrimination.  We tend to hate the skinny girls.  How did they get so lucky?  Another reality check – we all have challenges.  We all have insecurities. We all have fears.  We all long for love.  We all have things that make us giggle.  We all have things that make us cry.  We are all freaking human!!!

And we are all freaking amazing!  We need to stop looking at the outside.  We need to see each other as beautiful individuals rather than body shapes.  Others won’t see us as beautiful until we see ourselves and each other as such.  Love the skinnies.  Embrace the biggies.  Squeeze the averages in between.  Take care of yourself and love yourself and no matter what size you are, you are worthy, lovely and deserving of your own magazine cover!

Be Beautiful, Be You!

Love ya, Christie

www.thebadkitty.com

It’s hard for we women to gain some perspective on what we really look like.  We usually see something that isn’t really there when we look in the mirror.

Here’s a little activity for you to do.

You deserve this.

Go to the mirror. Full length preferred. Naked is best. Set a timer for 5 minutes. Spend the 5 minutes alone with yourself in the mirror. Do nothing else. No make up application. No brushing your teeth. If the phone rings and you answer it, start over. Do 5 UNINTERRUPTED minutes.

Look at yourself.  Look from head to toe.  Make observations.  See what’s REALLY there.  Notice and be thankful for your body and all the hard work it does for you.  Think about the successes you’ve had and the struggles you’ve overcome.  Celebrate the beauty you see in the mirror.  Recognize how undeniably gorgeous you are just as you are.

At the end of the 5 minutes, look yourself in the eye and say, “You are incredible. You deserve everything you want. You deserve to be cared for. You deserve the very best. You are beautiful. I love you!”

Do you think this is hard?  Not sure you can see yourself as you are without layering on all kinds of judgements?  How about coming out to THE GOOD, THE BAD AND THE KITTY one day Seminar on Sunday November 15?

Do you want to: connect with other women,connect with yourself on a deeper level, know your own power, own your beauty and your body, learn sensual dance, including pole dancing – for youself and – WOW – spend a full day just on you

This one day workshop will give you all this and more.  You will have the time of your life with a group of like minded women while learning to dance and access your Senuality.   Imagine living your dreams, loving your body and knowing how incredible you truly are.  You will leave walking taller, swinging your hips, ready to take on the world!

Click here for more details.

Go into the world my kitties. Go and spread the word about how wonderful every woman you meet is. Tell others about their beauty because chances are they don’t see it. Share your joy, your passion, yourself with everyone. Be brave.

I simply can’t say it enough – BE BEAUTIFUL, BE YOU! You are all my heroes.

www.thebadkitty.com

Barbie turned 50 this week. The iconic doll that has been played with by thousands of girls is an old lady. Boy, she ages well!

There are many debates around the influence of Barbie on our body image. I think she’s given too much credit. However, I don’t deny that there is some connection.

I heard an incredible story about the creator of Barbie this week. She was designed by Jack Ryan. His partner from Mattel at the time is often given credit for the design, however she only gave him the idea of creating a “grown up” doll. Up until then all dolls in North America were baby dolls. She had seen a doll with breasts in Germany and wanted something similar.

Jack designed Barbie after his ideal woman. After this was done, he also started to create dolls in real life. He expected the women in his life to undergo extensive plastic surgery to look like Barbie. One of his 5 wives died of anorexia and heart disease as a result of trying to have an unrealistic waistline. He even redesigned his Rolls so that the passenger seat swiveled backwards. He would then have friends sit in the back and have his latest “Barbie” in the car naked and turned backwards so that they could admire her.

Yes, this is all an outrage. Yes, there are still some women who voluntarily go through surgery and other insanity to look like the doll. All of this is outrageous, ridiculous, sad and makes me angry.

What makes me just as angry is that we ALLOW people to create this mentality in us. What makes a woman have such a low opinion of herself that she would stay with a man who insists she become not only someone she isn’t but someone who is not even remotely realistic?

Ladies, how many times have you in big and small ways allowed other people to say you weren’t good enough and tried to change yourself to their expectations? How many times have you thought you weren’t good enough in the body you have, the mind you have, the thoughts you have?

IT’S TIME TO STOP!!!!

The beauty of life is variety. The beauty of life is truth. The beauty of life is real! It’s time to own you. It’s time to BE BEAUTIFUL, BE YOU !

You are lovable as you are. You are BEAUTIFUL as you are. STOP TELLING YOURSELF ANY DIFFERENT!

Love you all – be YOU!

www.thebadkitty.com