Archive for December, 2008

Here we go – the New Year will be upon us in about 15 hours. We always make such a big deal about the New Year. You’ve probably read or come across, as I have, many articles or news bits on Top 10 lists, drinking and driving, making resolutions, party lists (most of them ridiculously expensive) and more.

When I thought about writing today, I thought that I’d give some thoughts on how to bring your sensual BAD KITTY self into the New Year. But, you know what, this is an arbitrary day. Other cultures don’t even have the same New Year as we do. The Chinese New Year is late January or early February. Pagans celebrate spring as the New Year – which actually makes much more sense than the middle of a cold, snowy winter. So why should January 1 be so special?

I’ve never been one to make resolutions. I watch others around me make resolutions every year and see them make the same one the following year because the resolve died in the first few weeks of the year. How many of you have made or have seen someone make that resolution to “lose 20-30-50-100 pounds this year” and in June they are unwilling to put on a bathing suit because they are still carrying the weight? And, they did the same thing for the last 5 years. On top of that, the number of pounds to lose has probably increased each year.

I’m not against setting goals or intentions, not by a long shot. But this setting a big goal – or resolution – just because it’s the start of the year with no plan for actually making it work thinking that this time it’s going to work because, well, it just has to, doesn’t work!

My thought for the New Year is GO EASY ON YOURSELF! Leave the resolution hype to others, refuse to get caught up in it. Instead, sit down soberly and make realistic goals. Put a timeline on it and then set smaller goals every week towards it. Find a partner or friend who you can check in with to be accountable to for your weekly small goals. Give yourself some sort of consequence if you don’t do your smaller goals.

For example, my big goal for 2009 is to finish my book – THE BAD KITTY HANDBOOK.
Timeline: to finish it by the end of July 2009
Smaller Goals: will change slightly from week to week, but one firm one that I have already been doing for a couple of months is to write for one hour twice a week. As I get closer to completion things like looking for editors, having readings, looking for publishers, etc, will start to come into the weekly goals.
Partner: I have a partner who I speak to every Monday at 9am. We go over our goals for the week and our successes for the past week. Always remember to celebrate your successes!
Consequence: My partner and I have an agreement that if we don’t finish our goals for the week we will pay the other $50. It’s amazing how motivating that is!

The key to any goal is taking steps. I’ve had the idea for my book for almost 2 years. I did some chipping away at it now and then, which honestly was very sporadic. I was waiting for inspiration. It wasn’t until I made a definite commitment to work on it regularly that things started to come together. I suddenly had a structure, a great title, the opportunity to work with a published author who is currently working on a new project and another woman who is working on a book and is about to start looking for publishers.

Firm steps create amazing opportunities!

I encourage all my BAD KITTIES to be bold in making goals all year long. Be sure they are SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, Timely/Tangible goals. Go to this site for more information on SMART goals.

You can all do great things. All you need to do is take the first steps!

I’d love to hear from you all as to what goals you are working toward this year. Feel free to email me at christie@beingsensual.com to share. You are allowed to revise, add or subtract goals anytime. Feel free to share about that as well. It’s liberating to know that if something isn’t working, you can correct and continue. No guilt. We give ourselves enough of that!

Remember to show your JOY POWER – no guilt. Be true to your deepest inner self when you make goals so that you can continue to BE BEAUTIFUL, BE YOU.

Love you all and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

www.thebadkitty.com

I had a moment of clarity the other day. A lot of the people I talk to about the BAD KITTY concept are men. So many people in business are men, so when I go to networking events and anything business related, I often end up with a lot of men in the room.

I was at an event this week and had a man say to me – it’s hard to explain what you do (true), so how are women going to come to you?

I’ve heard similar objections before, almost exclusively from men. I realized something. Men and women are different. Yes, an amazing revelation, I know. One way we’re different is that men, in general, need the facts and women, in general, trust their emotion and intuition. If a woman trusts you, likes you and feels comfortable with you and you reach her heart, she will trust you.

At that same event, I had several women come up to me to ask further questions and made an amazing possible joint venture partner connection. Men are titillated – one came up with the usual “can I watch” question after my elevator speech. Women are curious and drawn in because they see something they identify with, someone they’d like to get to know better and that makes them want to explore.

As my vision and experience with the BAD KITTY gets bigger and clearer, it will be easier to draw in my target market – women. Men will still need to understand it but that’s OK, they can just enjoy the benefits of hundreds of happy women running around!

I’ve also met two women in the last week who totally get what I’m doing. I said a little, and they filled in all the blanks. They were the ones who went on and on about sensuality and how we need it and how it’s about how we interact with the world and how you can’t truly express it until you know yourself. Thank you Lisa-Marie and Katya! You affirmed that I am going in the right direction. And it’s so exciting to meet others who see things like I do. Hugs to both of you.

Happy, happy holidays gorgeous BAD KITTIES. Love you all!

www.thebadkitty.com

Christmas is around the corner. How many of you, like me, have barely given it a thought? I’m sure I’m not alone! I set up my tree. Yeah for me. I have gifts for my favorite niece (yes, I have a favorite – be honest, we all do!), but beyond that, I have no clue what’s next. My family hasn’t even decided where we’re having Christmas dinner. Yep, you guessed it, we’re really good at planning ahead!

There are sometimes benefits to being less structured. It leaves room for surprises. It opens the door for the unexpected. It can also cause unneeded stress, especially at this time of year. This is the time when I field the question, “What are you doing for the holidays?” over and over. I sigh and say, “No idea.” Inside, I’m thinking someone really should get on that.

I’m the only unmarried sibling so thankfully I don’t have the added stress of whose family to spend the big day with. I also don’t have kids so another level of craziness is removed. My cats really don’t care.

I begin to think, if I can get stressed without kids, husband and in-laws to worry about, how about the thousands of women out there who do! Yikes, do I feel for you. I can only begin to imagine what it’s like. I was married what seems like a million years ago (actually only 12) and I – vaguely – remember the joy of deciding every year which family to spend time with.

The worst was the year we decided to meld both families. It wasn’t one of those crazy movie moments with food throwing, outrageous fights and a beautiful making up at the end. What we did have was my sister going to the hospital for stitches when she cut herself instead of the carrot. The in-laws didn’t show up until 5 minutes before dinner – for some reason they didn’t feel the urge to spend any extra time with us. And, worst, the driest turkey in the universe.

I’m a good cook. Nothing gourmet, but good, solid, everyday food. Turkey really is not as hard as some people like to make it out to be. That year my mom decided we should try a different way to do turkey – rather than roasting it the old fashioned way, we should steam it. The process is to cover the bird with foil and cook it at 425 and remove the foil 1/2 an hour before serving to brown – no basting and monitoring required. My bird apparently didn’t like the steaming process and kicked the foil off at some point. When I went to remove the foil, it was already off and the bird was dry as a bone and all the drippings were evaporated. Lovely! We made gravy from boullion and kitchen bouquet for the first time ever and salvaged what we could.

This is the time of year when we women go most into martyr mode. We have to make sure everyone is happy. We buy all the gifts because hubby will never get it right. We buy all the groceries because it’s just easier than explaining to someone else what we need. We do all the wrapping because the kids will make a mess. We do all the cleaning, planning, execution. We make ourselves insane!

Would it really be the end of the world if we had fresh cranberries or canned? Would the house come crashing down if the toilet isn’t spotless? Would there be endless tears if the kids got the wrong video game? Would the in-laws be disgusted if their gift’s bow wasn’t perfectly centered?

Let’s give ourselves a break. Take time to breath. Take time to enjoy those around you. Take time to caress your husband and tuck in your children. Yes, I know it’s hard, but STOP! Look around, make a list. Prioritize, delegate and remove what isn’t absolutely necessary.

Remember, this is a time of celebration and joy. The memories are made around the time spent, not the money spent. Unexpected events make great stories when handled with a sense of humor.

Stay in touch with your JOY POWER. Feel the joy of the season. Enjoy the Christmas Carols instead of reviling them. Smile at people. Let someone else have that last bag of cranberries and go buy a can.

Your enjoyment of this time is in your hands. Remember your BAD KITTY wants to play and if she doesn’t, she’ll get grumpy! No one likes a grumpy kitty on Christmas.

www.thebadkitty.com

In conjunction with the new branding (see Meow), I need a new picture.

Any ideas? No catsuits, please. Use your creativity.

I’ll send the best idea my eBook “30 Days to Sensuality” as a thank you!

What a difference a week makes!

Last week I met with (yet another) coach. This one is one of those coaches that, in general, I would never get to talk to as his fee for an hour is about what I make in a month! When I get an opportunity to talk to someone like that in person for free, you can bet I’ll jump on it!

This last quarter I’ve been working on a couple of principles. One is “Kill the Turtle” – stop procrastinating, jump in and git ‘er done! The amount that I’ve accomplished these last couple of months with that in mind has been truly staggering. There are things that have been on my to do list for many months that are finally done. I have curtains up, less stuff in my garage, a little extra money in my pocket and a more organized workspace and so much more. Phew!

The other is “Twist your head” – look at things from a new and different perspective. This one was a little harder to, pardon the pun, wrap my head around. How do you see things differently? I can only see things the way I see them. That’s where someone else’s head comes in handy.

I met with Berny Dohrman twice last week and both times he made my head spin. The difference between the way someone who makes 30 million a year thinks vs. someone who made 30 grand really is night and day. It took him moments to understand my business, open my eyes to new ideas and totally rebrand it. As a friend said of her meeting with him – it’s like he had my business plan right in front of him!

So, welcome to the NEW and IMPROVED. He gave me a name that will make my business more accessible, draw more people in and open the door for a myriad of angles.

One thing I was denying in my approach is my naughty side. As discussed a couple of posts ago, sex is a big part of my life and my identity. I was trying to “clean up” Sensuality by making it less about sex. I still believe that Sensuality is misunderstood and about so much more than we give it credit for. However, how I am is very sexual and if I deny that part to try to make things more palatable, I’m not being true to me.

One thing many have told me is that my presence gives them the permission to play bigger. A friend told me the other night that he misses having me around because I have always been an inspiration to him to not hold back and to be completely honest and open and fearless. Part of the reason people feel this way around me is because I am completely in touch with all sides of me, including my sexuality and am unafraid to express it.

Whenever I meet someone for the first time, it generally takes very little time before they are sharing some intimate details about themselves, and very often those have to do with their fears or hang ups around sex.

I’m a nice girl. I am sweet and big hearted, forgiving and easy going. However, I’m also a bad girl who loves the down and dirty.

Berny came up with a name that covers all of this: BAD KITTY. Adding the tagline JOY POWER expresses what I want to help people towards more succintly than my cumbersome and always needing to be explained SENUSUALITY COACH.

BAD KITTY and JOY POWER conjur an image. To some it conjurs porn, but that is the minority. It draws people in, they want to know more. As Berny said as we closed, people will be curious and be drawn to you now and THEN you can explain to them what you do and tell them what you want instead of explaining and then hoping they’ll come along.

Thank you Berny for twisting my head backwards and helping me see things totally new.

Pass along the BAD KITTY to your friends! This is a movement! We need more BAD KITTIES spreading their JOY POWER to the world!

From THE BAD KITTY: JOY POWER…. BE BEAUTIFUL, BE YOU!

www.thebadkitty.com