Christmas is around the corner. How many of you, like me, have barely given it a thought? I’m sure I’m not alone! I set up my tree. Yeah for me. I have gifts for my favorite niece (yes, I have a favorite – be honest, we all do!), but beyond that, I have no clue what’s next. My family hasn’t even decided where we’re having Christmas dinner. Yep, you guessed it, we’re really good at planning ahead!
There are sometimes benefits to being less structured. It leaves room for surprises. It opens the door for the unexpected. It can also cause unneeded stress, especially at this time of year. This is the time when I field the question, “What are you doing for the holidays?” over and over. I sigh and say, “No idea.” Inside, I’m thinking someone really should get on that.
I’m the only unmarried sibling so thankfully I don’t have the added stress of whose family to spend the big day with. I also don’t have kids so another level of craziness is removed. My cats really don’t care.
I begin to think, if I can get stressed without kids, husband and in-laws to worry about, how about the thousands of women out there who do! Yikes, do I feel for you. I can only begin to imagine what it’s like. I was married what seems like a million years ago (actually only 12) and I – vaguely – remember the joy of deciding every year which family to spend time with.
The worst was the year we decided to meld both families. It wasn’t one of those crazy movie moments with food throwing, outrageous fights and a beautiful making up at the end. What we did have was my sister going to the hospital for stitches when she cut herself instead of the carrot. The in-laws didn’t show up until 5 minutes before dinner – for some reason they didn’t feel the urge to spend any extra time with us. And, worst, the driest turkey in the universe.
I’m a good cook. Nothing gourmet, but good, solid, everyday food. Turkey really is not as hard as some people like to make it out to be. That year my mom decided we should try a different way to do turkey – rather than roasting it the old fashioned way, we should steam it. The process is to cover the bird with foil and cook it at 425 and remove the foil 1/2 an hour before serving to brown – no basting and monitoring required. My bird apparently didn’t like the steaming process and kicked the foil off at some point. When I went to remove the foil, it was already off and the bird was dry as a bone and all the drippings were evaporated. Lovely! We made gravy from boullion and kitchen bouquet for the first time ever and salvaged what we could.
This is the time of year when we women go most into martyr mode. We have to make sure everyone is happy. We buy all the gifts because hubby will never get it right. We buy all the groceries because it’s just easier than explaining to someone else what we need. We do all the wrapping because the kids will make a mess. We do all the cleaning, planning, execution. We make ourselves insane!
Would it really be the end of the world if we had fresh cranberries or canned? Would the house come crashing down if the toilet isn’t spotless? Would there be endless tears if the kids got the wrong video game? Would the in-laws be disgusted if their gift’s bow wasn’t perfectly centered?
Let’s give ourselves a break. Take time to breath. Take time to enjoy those around you. Take time to caress your husband and tuck in your children. Yes, I know it’s hard, but STOP! Look around, make a list. Prioritize, delegate and remove what isn’t absolutely necessary.
Remember, this is a time of celebration and joy. The memories are made around the time spent, not the money spent. Unexpected events make great stories when handled with a sense of humor.
Stay in touch with your JOY POWER. Feel the joy of the season. Enjoy the Christmas Carols instead of reviling them. Smile at people. Let someone else have that last bag of cranberries and go buy a can.
Your enjoyment of this time is in your hands. Remember your BAD KITTY wants to play and if she doesn’t, she’ll get grumpy! No one likes a grumpy kitty on Christmas.