In my book, The Bad Kitty Handbook – A Journey Toward Authentic Female Sensuality, I give a list of the changes that will happen in your life when you truly own your Bad Kitty. Over the next few weeks, we’ll go over some of these in detail.
This week is “A Bad Kitty is someone who – Stands Up for Herself.”
Always be a first rate version of yourself instead of a second rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland
Thank you Judy, that’s where standing up for yourself starts – you have to actually know who you are and what you stand for. Sounds like it should be pretty straight forward, right? From all the people out there (including myself) making their living help people “find themselves” (or however you want to label it), obviously it can be quite the journey.
There are many tips in previous posts. There is no lack of material out there from many sources on how to find your elusive authenticity. It is so worth it when you find it! I trust that since you’re here you are on that journey.
Once you have a better grasp on what makes you tick, it becomes easier to stand up for yourself and speak out when you feel you aren’t getting what you need in your life. Standing up for yourself happens in all sorts of ways. Telling your family what you need. Asking for what you want from your higher power/the universe/spirit. Standing up for others who are being down trodden. Taking action on your passion and dreams. Hmmm, sounds like standing up for yourself is a good way to live your life. Biting your tongue gets really painful after awhile. Letting things out is a healthier and happier way to live!
Here are some places to start:
- What things in the world really bother you? The environment? Child abuse? Racism? Sexism? Homelessness? Hunger? Bad grammar? Whatever it is that gets your blood boiling, find ways to speak up about it. Fundraisers, blog, volunteer and so on.
- Where in your relationships do you clam up? When you notice yourself thinking “I should say something but….” stop yourself at the but and open your mouth.
- Practice speaking out in the moment. When we wait for a better time or more privacy or to formulate what we want to say, we usually end up saying nothing.
If you’re not in the habit of speaking out, this will take some practice and a lot of guts. I know you have it in you! Your voice deserves to be heard as much as everyone else’s. Whether you speak in a whisper or shout from the rooftops, be sure someone is getting the message.
One of the reasons we often don’t speak up is that we think we won’t be accepted. Have you ever noticed that whether you’re being quiet or loud, trying to fit in or stand out, make others happy instead of yourself that someone out there doesn’t like you? Since you’ll always make someone unhappy, why not make the most important person in the equation happy – you.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life; define yourself. ~Harvey Fierstein
Let the world know you as you are, not as you think you should be, because sooner or later, if you are posing, you will forget the pose, and then where are you? ~Fanny Brice
Have fun being you and speaking out. No, really, it is fun!
Be Beautiful, Be YOU!
Hugs, Christie