Every day I get a note from the Universe. A recent one was apropos for this time of year.
Not only is everyone beautiful in their own way but everyone is beautiful to someone else as well. Just a couple of little perks I built into your whole continuum-thingy. Cool, huh?
The Universe
The big commercial day of love has just passed. Whether you are single or coupled, this day can put on some pressure. As couples we feel that we “have to” somehow make this day special and spend money we may or may not have to show someone we love them. For singles, it’s often a day to feel the stigma of singlehood that much more than normal.
Let’s use the passing of this day as a reminder that, no matter what happened yesterday, we are all beautiful and someone else thinks so too. Whether you have a significant other or not (or a significant other we are having struggles with), someone finds you beautiful – even on the days you don’t.
I’m always talking about accepting compliments graciously. This is why. There are people out there – family, friends, strangers – who are constantly telling you they love you – or something about you – through compliments. Sometimes it’s hard to believe that these people are for real because we may not believe what they’re saying. The trick is, start thanking them and taking in that information anyway. Eventually, one day, it will all click and you will go – ya, you’re right!
Having a low opinion of yourself is not “modesty”. It’s self-destruction. Holding your uniqueness in high regard is not “egotism”. It’s a necessary precondition to happiness and success. ~Bobbe Sommer
You may not have been told this directly by anyone so let me clue you in. If you don’t accept someone’s compliments, eventually they will stop giving them. First it will be because they are tired of you throwing their beautiful gift in the garbage. Before long, they will also start to see you in the same negative light you see yourself. Do you want that? I didn’t think so.
Accept compliments graciously! It’s simple. Say thank you. Period.
I give my students stickers to record every time they receive a compliment and accept it graciously. I had feedback from one of my girls that she put the stickers on her mirror. The mirror was, as many of us feel, not her friend. If she spent any time looking at herself other than the required amount to do her daily primping, it was used to pick herself apart. Mirrors were an opportunity to look at what she didn’t like and reinforce those feelings. Now, she said, because of the stickers framing her mirror reminding her of all the compliments she received graciously, she looks in the mirror, smiles and thinks – or even says out loud – I’m beautiful!
Buy yourself some stickers! The dollar stores have plenty.
It’s important in every part of our life to dwell on what we have rather than what we don’t. What you focus on expands. If you always focus on what’s missing, that’s all you’ll see. As a single, it’s easy to look at all the dates or crushes that didn’t work out. As a couple, it’s easy to see those pieces of our partner that don’t quite live up to our expectations.
If we would focus on the good things like the fun we had with that guy we only saw once or the nice things that guy said even though it didn’t last long we would feel so much better about the search for a mate and ourselves. If we could see past the petty hurts and disappointments we’ve experienced at the hands of our human just like you are mate and concentrated on what he does do/say that are wonderful we would be so much happier with our choices.
Look for the good! Seeing the good and beautiful in others and in every situation will also help you see the good and beautiful in you.
If you come across someone who says they love you and treats you like garbage, well I don’t think I need to tell you what to do. Anyone who truly loves you will build you up, not tear you down.
Release the negative! Let those who make you feel small or bad go. There is someone and something better for you out there.
Remember, you are amazing and beautiful! So Be Beautiful, Be YOU and surround yourself with people who support you to do so.
Hugs, Christie