It’s been awhile since we’ve talked about Sensuality. Being Sensual – owning your sensuality – is my core message and the key to accepting that you are amazing and beautiful just as you are; no changes required. In order to understand Sensuality better, let’s look at 3 myths about sensuality.
1. Sensuality and Sexuality are interchangeable. Despite the fact that we sometimes use them in place of each other, sensuality and sexuality are NOT the same thing.
“Sensuality is giving pleasure to the body or mind through the senses. The key word here is pleasure. Senusuality includes all five of our senses: hearing, seeing, smelling, tasting and touching. It also includes the 6th sense which is any use of conceptual thought to enhance pleasure.
Sexuality meanwhile is the physicological function that pertains to reproduction brought about by insemination of the female by the male through penile penetration of the vagina.” (from Extended Massive Orgasm – how you can give and receive intense sexual pleasure - Steve Bodansky, PhD and Very Bodansky PhD).
Although they are often intertwined, they are not the same. It certainly doesn’t help that everything we see about sensuality screams sex – Google sensual images or sensuality and you’ll see what I mean! The truth is, you can be sensual with no sex involved and you can have sex without being sensual (but why would you want to.)
2. Sensuality is something outside me. Sensuality is PART of you. What you experience is outside you – you smell a lilac across the street, touch someone’s skin, taste food that you are putting in your mouth, see a sunset miles away, hear music on the radio. How your respond to the various stimuli is part of who you are. If you don’t like lilacs you’ll hold your breath, if you like them you’ll breath deeply. If you are touching a loved one you will savor that touch, if you are brushing against a stranger you may recoil. If you are taking time with a gourmet meal you will enjoy every bite, if it’s a Big Mac in the car, you likely won’t enjoy much of anything that crosses your tongue. You may stop and have a zen moment with the sunset or feel dread that the day is coming to a close and there’s still so much to do. You might change the station because you hate a song or start to dance. How you express yourself in response to your senses is your sensuality. It is part of your self expression, it reflects who you are at your very deepest core. Suppressing your sensuality is repressing your truth, your beauty, your self. Which leads us to #3.
3. Sensuality is bad. Since sensuality is part of who you are, how can it be bad? This links with the confusion between sensuality and sexuality. Many feel that if we are sensual we are also slutty or inviting unwanted sexual attention. If you want to invite sexual attention, your sensuality will do that. If you don’t, it won’t. It’s also seen as confidence, self expression and joie de vivre! How can that be wrong? Sensuality is goddess energy. Sensuality is flow, female energy is flow. If you are cutting off your flow, you are cutting off your feminine. It’s no wonder so many women are rigid, sexually repressed, domineering and, let’s face it, bitchy. If we’re cutting off our natural energy it’s impossible to be truly happy. Since Sensuality is your expression it looks different on each individual. Sensuality is part of you and ignoring it is looking for trouble.
I hope this clears up some misconceptions about sensuality. Let’s spread the word together so every woman can feel comfortable with her own sensuality, with the word sensuality and with the knowledge that she is beautiful in the expression of her sensuality so the next generation can feel free to Be Beautiful, Be YOU along with us!
To get a more in depth look at sensuality, what it is, why we hide it and how to express it, pick up my book The Bad Kitty Handbook, A Journey Toward Authentic Female Sensuality.
Remember to honor your beauty and your sensuality – you’ll thank me for it.
Christie Mawer – The Bad Kitty