Posts Tagged ‘david karofsky’

Authenticity and Bullying

Bully Karofsky

Glee has done it again.  In last week’s episode, On My Way, as David Karofsky laid out his suit on his bed and tested the strength of  his belt while Blaine sang Cough Syrup in the background, I bawled.  The character who bullied Kurt for his overt gay self to cover up his own sexual orientation had been found out.  To him, suicide seemed the only option.  Thankfully he didn’t succeed.

It made me think about all the times I felt alone and misunderstood and how much easier it would have been to cash it on or, at the very least, hide myself away so no one would laugh.  With today’s social media, it’s that much harder.  If someone wants to spread something hurtful – true or not – it will spread like wildfire.

Authenticity is hard in any situation.  When faced with bullying, it’s that much harder.

When I was young, I was virtually invisible and it still scared me to death to be seen for who I was.    I was a church girl and got some flack for that, but not a lot.  Most of my persecution was self inflicted.   I kept quiet out of fear rather than persecution.

Whatever the reason, hiding who we are is difficult.  You never can be fully relaxed.  You have to try to figure out what is acceptable in each new situation.  You feel like no one truly understands you, and how can they when you aren’t completely honest.   In the end, it’s exhausting.

Hurting Karofsky

Some of us overcompensate to hide what we are afraid of that others will find out, like Karofsky’s bullying.  Sometimes we hide so well, we become invisible, like I used to be.  Others seem fully functional and normal.  All of us who are hiding are hurting and searching.

Often the fear of how others will react is enough keep us hiding.  What if they act hurtfully?  What if they try to destroy me?  What if they turn their back?  What if they make fun?  What if….

These fears can be huge in our heads.  For many of us those fears are never as big in reality as they are in our imagination.  For others they may be, like Dave in the locker room.  But no matter how big or small the reaction to you “coming out” as yourself, there is always someone who loves you and accepts you as Kurt did David.

Life as yourself can sometimes be hard.  There will always be someone who wants you to be different or makes fun of who you are.  The key is to look for those who do love and accept you.  To look into the future and hold onto the vision of what you want and move toward that glorious day.

Did you ever notice that even when you’re pretending to be someone else, there are those who don’t accept you?  Doesn’t it make more sense to be you and let the haters go their own way?  They don’t deserve your attention anyway.  You are bigger and more glorious than the small minds who want to keep you stuck.

Remember always that you not only have the right to be an individual, you have an obligation to be one. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

If you have trouble being you, know it does get better.  The It Gets Better Project was created to tell young LGBT people to hang in there.  The message is great for anyone.  No matter how hard things are today, it does get better if you hold onto your truth, your uniqueness and your love of who you are and what you want.

Keep going, kitties.  You deserve it.  The world needs the real you.

Hugs, Chrsitie