Posts Tagged ‘oprah’
One of the most frequent questions I get is “how can I be more confident?” We have so many things around us which can make us feel like we don’t measure up. Our income level, our talent (or lack of) in any given area, our looks, how we act and so on. It’s easy to take a beating if we let these things get to us.
There is a common misconception that, like this picture, confidence means staring down fear, difficulties and being bigger than any obstacle that comes our way.
Confidence is a basic need we all have to feel good about ourselves. It’s not about feeling superior or invincible. It’s simply, and with difficulty, about owning who we are, being comfortable in the knowledge that we all have strengthhs and challenges, taking our best foot and putting it forward every day in every way.
In the face of all the messages out there telling us that we’re not good enough, that we need to be better, how can we have confidence and know that we are perfect and beautiful just as we are – no changes required?
- Practice your sexy walk. For those of you who have taken classes with me, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. In a nutshell it’s holding your head up, swinging your hips and taking long strides. This walk, all on it’s own, as many of my clients have discovered, not only projects confidence, it also creates it.
- Do something every day that causes you to be impressed with yourself. Do things that scares you, that takes you out of your comfort zone, that challenges your perception of self in a positive way. Celebrate how well you did with the challenges you’ve given yourself.
Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time. The only people who never tumble are those who never mount the high wire. This is your moment. Own it. ~Oprah
You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. ~Eleanor Roosevelt
- You’ve heard this one before over and over and it bears repeating until we all do it – accept compliments graciously. Seeing yourself through the positive eyes of those who care about you will increase your confidence. You will also start to notice that there are more people who see you this way. Concentrate on the positive, and more positive shows up!
Feeling grateful or appreciative of someone (like yourself) or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life. ~Christiane Northrup
- Ask for what you want. Learn that what you want is as valuable as all the requests that others make of you. You are a Bad Kitty (Beautiful Authentic Divine Kompletely Individual Totally True YOU) so remember this quote:
Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want. ~Joseph Wood Krutch
There are those in your life who love you and support you and thing you’re incredible. There are others who want to tear you down, most likely so they can feel
better about themselves. It’s up to you to love and support yourself and know that you are incredible so that you can attract more of the former, less of the latter and live your life confidently on your own terms.
Don’t waste any more time wishing, comparing or whining. Be YOU. Be your amazing self and love everything you are. It’s your responsibility to love yourself first.
Go confidently my kitties and be bold, beautiful and BAD! (Beautiful Authentic Divine)
This weekend I rewatched Dirty Dancing, the 1987 chestnut, or classic depending on who you ask. To me it’s a classic chestnut. It’s predictable with stock characters yet there’s something about it that endures nearly 25 years later. As I watched it, I realized how true it is in the sense that women come to life through movement. Whether they do zumba, belly dancing, hip hop, pole dancing, ballet, or freestyle in the living room, dancing brings us to life.
There are short-cuts to happiness, and dancing is one of them. ~Vicki Baum
Movies give us ample examples of this.
- Dirty Dancing – “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.” Most people focus on the love story of this movie. Yes, she does fall in love for the first time with the older, experienced dance instructor. What opens her up to this and all the other possibilities in her life is learning to dance. It changes the way she carries herself, the way she sees the world and gets her out of the “corner” the expectations of her father has put her into.
- Footloose – “What’s this I see? I thought this was a party. LET’S DANCE!” This is another one of my favorites (the 1984 original, I haven’t seen the remake yet). The movie is mostly about the new boy in town, Ren. His love interest is the preacher’s rebellious daughter Ariel. For Ariel, dance is a way to express herself, a way to escape the overprotective radicalism of her father.
- Stricly Ballroom - “A life lived in fear is a life half lived.” In 1994 Baz Luhrman, not yet famous for Moulin Rouge, created this story of frumpy Fran who becomes the partner of a professional ballroom dancer, Scott, after his regular partner leaves. This is an Aussie Cinderella dance story. Dance gives Fran confidence, self love and taps into her feminine power.
- Flashdance – “I don’t want you buying me anything. I don’t want you buying me, period!” In 1983 welder/dancer Alex demonstrated how following your dreams can be tough, discouraging and ultimately worthwhile. Alex’s entire self expression revolves around her dance. And who can forget the water scene!
- Save the Last Dance – “Let’s put some S-E-X in those H-I-Ps!” (2001) Sara was a ballet dancer. Her mom died and Joulliard rejected her. Her life fell apart. She gave up dance and it wasn’t until she met and of course fell for, Derek the hip hop dancer and had her dance expression reawakened that her life started to come back to a sense of order and joy.
These movies illustrate how dance is key to a woman’s happiness, power and expression.
To dance is to be out of yourself. Larger, more beautiful, more powerful. ~Agnes De Mille
Dance is the hidden language of the soul. ~Martha Graham
To watch us dance is to hear our hearts speak. ~Hopi Indian Saying
When is the last time you danced? And I mean REALLY danced. The kind of let loose, not worrying about what others may be thinking, completely in the moment, just for you dancing? If you can’t remember when – it’s time to change that.
Every day brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes and dance. ~Oprah
Whether it’s turning on your favorite music at home and letting loose, going out to a club with the girls or taking a class - I challenge you to release your self expression – your soul even – by dancing.
Dancing faces you towards Heaven, whichever direction you turn. ~Terri Guillemets
The truest expression of a people is in its dance and in its music. Bodies never lie. ~Agnes de Mille
We’re fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance. ~Japanese Proverb
As I’ve said before, I love men. I love having them in my life. Some of my best friends are men. I love having them around to talk to and for much more fun things. My life would be considerably less interesting without men. That said, one thing is becoming increasingly clear:
Men just don’t get it.
Most of the women readers are going – I know, I know! I don’t mean in general, though, I mean specifically about my business. In general most men are pretty savvy about the things men are savvy about. And some about many more things as well. When it comes to my business, though, they are single minded, and not in the right direction. Their train goes to one place and stays there.
I’ve been asked many times if I’ll include men in my business. Usually I answer, maybe eventually. The true answer is, very unlikely.
When I talk to men about my business all they see is how it can get them laid more. The word Sensuality turns into Sexuality in their mind and their words. They see women tramping around in high heels and short skirts coming onto them. They see the Hollywood stripper in their bedroom.
Sorry, boys – er – men. That’s not what it’s all about.
Ladies, I want to release you from that image. In order to be attractive and enjoy your life, you need to BE YOU! Everyone is beautiful when they are being true to themselves. No matter what the current ideal is, you are beautiful when you are comfortable in your own skin.
Some of you, when you regain your confidence and your zest for life may want to wear heels and short skirts. Wonderful.
I certainly have grown very fond of the heel. When I was a teen I would wear high heels. Eventually I let all those people who said, “you’re already so tall, why are you wearing heels?” get to me. I became afraid to stand out anymore than I already did at 6′. I became afraid of making men feel short so that they wouldn’t ask me out. Surprise, they didn’t anyway! Not because of my height but because I was hiding myself. Now I wear heels nearly everyday, sometimes as tall as 4″ and enjoy every minute of it!
My motto has become, why play small? I am here to inspire others to be fully themselves, so my playing small doesn’t serve that purpose.
On the same note, why worry about being misunderstood? Whether it’s a man thinking that I’m trying to turn all women into hot, sex hungry hookers or women who think that I’m encouraging loose activity or many other thoughts people have around THE BAD KITTY, it doesn’t mean I should dilute or back away from my mission.
Did Edison stay in the dark? Did Ben Franklin take his kite and go home when the neighbors laughed at him in the rain? Did Galileo pretend the sun revolved around the earth just because he was put prison by fearful zealots? Did Oprah sit on her butt when she was told there were no successful black women on TV? Did Mother Teresa stop when faced with the possibility of contracting one of the many illnesses of those she was helping? The examples are endless.
I have a quote in my office: “Do something that nobody else has done, something that will DAZZLE the world!”
One day THE BAD KITTY will be a well known entity. It may still be misunderstood by some, but the word will be out there for anyone who cares to learn. People will want to know the key to JOY POWER. And they’ll know what it means! People will shun the concept of conventional beauty. Or maybe the concept will change… wouldn’t that be something! Women the world over will own the phrase BE BEAUTIFUL, BE YOU.
Will you be part of the beginning of a revolution? It’s going to be a great ride!