My friend, Andrea Geitz author/creator of The Moving Hearts Guide to Real Relating, sent me a message yesterday. She let me know that my recent posts about loving yourself reminded her of a poem she had written. I have her permission to share it with you here.
Lonely Woman
See the lonely woman
in her lonely little room
weaving herself a threadbare cloak
on an invisible loom.
For thread she uses the thin grey rain
that spreads itself across the pain.
All grey the thoughts are in her mind,
all twisted and tangled
she’s hoping to find
something she’s forgotten
something she should know
an end
a beginning
it’s almost as though
she looks for a needle
to sew up the seams
of tattered old fragments
of discarded dreams.
See the lonely woman
alone upon the shelf.
She could not love another
for she did not love
herself.
What a powerful image. I can see this woman in her tower wondering what happened. Why did her youthful dreams not work out? What were those dreams, anyway? Like many, she can’t even remember what they may have been – she may not even remember even having any dreams. Her life is a yawning cavern waiting for something to fill it. She toils away trying to fill the void, but it’s useless because it’s all without substance.
I also imagine a hoard of people milling outside her room. These are all the people who she didn’t connect with even though they were there. All the people who were in her life for a short time that drifted away. The ones who were in her life for quite a long time, and maybe still are to some extent, but she can’t see or feel their presence because her void is so deep and wide. They are all reaching out to touch her, to be with her, to love her. If only the walls of her room – her psyche – weren’t so thick.
When you feel lost and alone, it’s time to look at your life.
- Are you pushing people away? When you don’t love yourself, as much as we want others to love you, you will find ways to make them go away.
- Do you feel lonely even when you’re with those you love? No matter how much you may love others or they may love you, if you don’t have self love, it will never feel like enough.
- Do you have a hard time remembering your dreams? If you don’t honor and feed who you are and what you want, those desires and dreams will die of starvation.
- Do you find you always feel dissatisfied? No one else can fill the void left by lack of self love. No matter what you do to fill the void, it will always be empty until you learn to love yourself.
- Do you find you choose to have people in your life that cause you stress? Lack of self love can manifest as self loathing. This condition will lead you to make bad decisions. You will choose people who might abuse you in some way. The “abuse” can be anything from taking advantage of you to physical damage. You will put yourself in situations that make you miserable. You will consciously or unconsciously cause yourself mental and physical pain.
So, let’s review some of the ways you can get out of your lonely room. Each suggestion has a link to previous post with more information.
- Tell yourself every day in the mirror “I love you” until you believe it.
- Accept compliments graciously.
- Make a list of selfish goals.
- Be present, enjoy your senses.
- Learn how to say NO.
- Do something every day that makes you say, “Wow, I did it! I rock!”
Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives. ~Louise Hay
Get out and play, kitties. It’s time to swing the door open, learn to love yourself and fill the void. You can’t do that locked up alone in your own sadness. If you need help on your journey, the Grand Puma Membership is here to serve you!
Hugs, Christie